Last Chance at Glory
by Istoria
Summary: *COMPLETE 8/15* Fate has given Kaoru one last chance to restore the honor of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. However the true battle is not in the tournament ring but in her own mind.
1. Chapter 1 : The Invitation

Author's Note: 

Okay, so those of you who have read my stuff before are probably going to realize this is something completely different because… well it is. The style of writing might seem a bit strange but that's because this was supposed to be a doujinshi (only my drawing skills have a while to go before they catch up with my writing speed)

Anyway, here's the deal with the story. Formatting on Fanfiction.net is hard so I have to use different conventions then I would on my website (like color coding).

Normal font – Kaoru's POV (1st person)

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Bold font – Anything printed (letters, articles, etc)

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Bold Italic font – Flashback

Italic font – Kenshin's POV (3rd person)

It should be pretty clear when you read the story but just in case, I figured it was worth a legend ahead of time.

Translations of certain words are at the bottom. I'm big on using names that have meaning behind them and with them in Japanese, I figured a translation would help.

Setting is a few weeks after Sano leaving in the manga.

Now… without further muddling on my part…

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Last Chance at Glory  
Chapter 1 : The Invitation

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When all the fighting was done and all the enemies were defeated, life at the dojo became peaceful. Sano was off exploring the world and Megumi had returned to Aizu. Misao and Aoshi had gone home to Kyoto. And suddenly it was the three of us again. 

It should have been different now from when we shared the dojo those many months ago. And in some ways, it was. Yahiko was no longer the spoiled kid with a chip on his shoulder… he was the spoiled young man with a chip on his shoulder. Well, I'm joking but at least one part of that is true. Yahiko is growing up and while I'll never say it out loud, I couldn't be prouder of him. My little adopted brother.

But then there's Kenshin. 

I thought it was terrifying that you can love a person so completely without knowing if he feels the same. But I've come to realize that there is something much scarier than that. Finally seeing that he really does feel the same way.

It should be wonderful, you know, discovering the truth after all the doubt. But it's not the storybook finish. There's more doubt now. Tomoe's ghost hangs over us like a little rain cloud. I think Kenshin worries I'll share her fate, since I almost did. And I can't help but worry that I'll never be able to live up to her. She seemed so perfect, so ladylike, so completely opposite from what I am. I don't understand it, how he could give his heart to a girl like that and then feel the same way about me. 

I'll never live up to her. I know that but… I'm just not willing to let go of him. So we play our little game, like everything is normal, like it really was only yesterday that we first met. And Yahiko, the obedient little student he can sometimes be, plays along too. Because none of us want to lose the little happiness we've found with the four walls of my dojo.

These were grim thoughts. And I should have been happier, walking back to the dojo with a full purse of money at my side. A full week of classes and I had enough money to repair the roof. And then maybe the place would be respectable enough so that I could bring a few more students in. I should have been happier.

I should also have been paying attention. After all the trouble that's happened, you would think I would be better at picking up when someone was following me. But it wasn't until my key was in the door that I heard something.

"KAMIYA KAORU!"

And it was very hard to miss that. I turned around slowly, realizing the door to the dojo had opened as I did. Before I could even get a look at who was calling my name, Kenshin was next to me, hand resting on the hilt of the Sakabatou. 

There were three men, in uniforms and sword attached to their sides. Whoever they were, they didn't seem too pleased to see Kenshin there. Downright terrified might be the word for it. So I walked forward and tried to defuse the situation before it got worst.

"Yes," I said. "That's me."

The man reached inside his pocket and I heard Kenshin tense up behind me. I put a reassuring hand up and locked eyes with the man. There was some crinkling and he pulled up a folded up piece of paper. I took it slowly from his hand and the man bowed, taking his two comrades with him as he ran away.

"Strange," I said with a shrug walking back inside.

"What did they want?" Yahiko said, meeting us at the door.

"They had a letter for me," I replied, looking down. Stranger still it had foreign lettering on it. 

"What's it say?"

I scowled, watching Yahiko peer around me, trying to see what it said before I even got the chance to open it. Argh! He really was like a little brother some times.

"I'll tell you what it says, after I read it," I replied firmly.

"Feh," Yahiko said. "Like it's anything important. Probably another student canceling classes so they don't have to have an ugly instructor like you."

I take it back. I take back everything I said about him growing up. That obnoxious little…

"Maa maa," Kenshin said, jumping in as soon as he saw my hand clench the shinai. "I'm sure Yahiko didn't mean it."

"You damn well bet I meant it."

You'd think Yahiko would have learned by now. But instead, I left him spinning around the courtyard trying to recover from shinai blow the head while Kenshin tried to keep him still long enough to assess the damage.

Really! I give them a place to stay, free food and all I get are insults and a complete lack of privacy. I tossed my bag down on to the floor and stripped off the heavy coat, sitting down in front of the tiny table that serves as a desk. I held the letter in my hand and commented for the third time about its strangeness.

I carefully pulled the seal off the back and spread the letter in front of me. The contents, thankfully, were in Japanese. I made it about half way through the letter when I realized I must have been dreaming. I started at the top again and read it to the end. Then I reread it at least five times. 

No, it wasn't possible. This couldn't actually be saying…

I stood up, suddenly realizing what it meant if it was the truth. A chance, I finally had a chance. I ran out of the door, through the courtyard barely hearing the Kaoru-dono as I ran by, and into the small shed. They were here, they had to be here!

"Kaoru-dono?"

I ignored the voice behind me and started to tear my way through the boxes, tossing them over my shoulder as I did. Tea supply, no… *duck* "Oro"… spare laundry bucket, no… *duck* "Oro"… large unidentified box, oof, no… *CRASH* "Ororororo…"

Damn… where could it be!! But then I saw, crammed in the corner, collecting dust. I walked slowly over to it, kneeling down before it. With one hand, I wiped away the dust and saw the lettering on the box. This was it.

"Kaoru?" Yahiko said from the doorway.

"Yahiko," I responded, not realizing how grave my voice was. "Go sit in the dojo. I'll be there in a minute." There was no response, no complaint, he just left and did as he was told. If only it was always like that.

I struggled to get the two box towards the door. "You could help," I said to Kenshin as I passed him by. Why was he just sitting at the door with that swirly-eyed look on his face? Completely oblivious sometimes, I thought, dropping the box on of his lap. 

Yahiko was waiting for us in the dojo. I brought one box over and put it down in front of me as I kneeled down. From the side, Kenshin put the second box in front of Yahiko and took a silent seat next to us.

I looked over at Yahiko, watching him study me with determination. He knew this was big. 

"You have studied the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu for more than a year now, correct?"

"Hai," he answered firmly.

"Have you dedicated yourself to the sword that protects."

"Hai!"

"Then will you fight to protect the honor of the school?"

"HAI!" 

No pause, no question, I tried to conceal my smile but I was too proud. "Then I need you to fight by my side."

I opened the box in front of him. His brow furrowed as he reached out a hand and touched what was inside. His hands rested on the treated leather, bringing out the chest plate and holding it up.

"Armor?" he asked.

"Hai," I said. "Practice armor. For a tournament. The First Annual Tokyo Kendo Tournament."

***

****

Tokyo Daily

Kendo Tournament to Occur in One Month's Time

Matches set up to settle debate between two high ranking politicians

During last night's state dinner for the American contingency, Watanabe Heiji and Nakamura Motoru nearly came to blows over a debate on the place of sword fighting in Meiji's Japan. The intervention of a Samuel Blackstone, businessman, prevented the fight from escalating as the American offered to fund a tournament to settle the question.

It started earlier that evening when Watanabe stated that any violent sport had no place in a peaceful Japan. But Nakamura argued that many schools no longer concentrate on using the sword solely to kill. The debate quickly degenerated as Watanabe, a well-known pacifist, accused Nakamura, a strong supporter of the military, of attempting to warp Japan into a war hungry nation.

Mr. Blackstone stepped in and offered to settle the debate with a tournament that would exhibit all styles of the sword. Four teams would be from schools who philosophy was evolving away from violence while the other four teams would come from more militant schools. 

Rules were still being worked out but will mimic the training practices of most sword schools. Protective armor will be worn and wooden swords will be the only weapons allowed. There will be one fighter from each school but they will have a second who can fight one of their fights if they need it.

A list of eight teams was drawn up and the date for the tournament was set for one month from today. Watanabe chose Shiinto Kurochiku Ryu, Aka Dokuja Ryu, Ishikiri Ryu and Kokufuu Ryu. Nakamura chose Tanaka Byakuren Ryu, Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, Suzuki Kawa Ryu and Takayama Hitsuji Ryu.

***

"KAORU!!" 

"Just a minute!!"

Oh he is so frustrating. Annoying little brother. That's EXACTLY what he is. 

I pulled the chest guard string tight, trying to let it fall on my chest correctly. It had been made for me but it was almost five years since I last tried it on and I had… well… grown since then. The gloves were next and at least they still fit. But years inside storage had left them stiff. I pushed down on them, trying to flex the leather but it was going to take more to get them in shape.

"Ah! What is it with women and always taking forever to get ready!!"

"Maa maa…"

I grabbed the helmet and slammed it on. I was beyond angry. And I was going to beat it into his little head that you do not insult your sensei like that if you want to enjoy a long and pain free life. 

"Yahiko!" I said throwing the door open. "I've had just about…"

I trailed off, seeing the looks of shock on their faces. Turning around, I looked back in my room, catching sight of myself in the mirror. The grate in the helmet made it difficult to see but I didn't see anything wrong. I pulled off the helmet, yelping slightly as my hair got caught. 

"What's the matter?" I asked, as soon as the helmet was off.

Yahiko just shook his head, still in a state of surprise. "It was like a real samurai…"

"Baka," I said. "Of course it was, the armor is modeled after them. And if you got off your lazy butt, you could look like one too."

The insult got his attention and he scowled. He went to his room to retrieve the armor and I relished the idea of having him have to ask for help. That would take his ego down a few notches.

There was still one thing missing though. We had the armor and the swords but short of practicing against ourselves, there was nothing to hit. A little light bulb went off and I turned to Kenshin, the rurouni already back off, instinctively sensing that something very bad was about to happen to him.

~~~~

**__**

"No."

"Demo, Otosan…"

"Absolutely not. No daughter of mine will take up the sword."

"Demo…"

"Women are weak. They do not deserve the sword."

Kaoru stood up, her small nine-year-old body not looking imposing at all when she stood up and placed her hands on her hips. "But I'm the only one now. I'm the only one who can carry on the school."

"I have students that will do that better than you could. You wouldn't last a month."

"I would. And I'll be better than any of your other beginners by then too."

There was a pause. "One month, Kaoru. One month is all you get."

~~~~ 

"Demo… Kaoru-dono…"

"Shush, its not that bad," I said to Kenshin as I tied the last string front the chest protector on Yahiko. I took the helmet and put it on Yahiko's head backwards, earning a couple of curses from him (Sano… a bad influence even when he was gone) but giving me another reason to smile.

I turned the helmet around the right way and could almost feel the anger seething through the mask. But I ignored it and handed him the shinai instead. 

"Now just try a head strike once or twice," I said. 

Yahiko frowned. "Won't I hit the helmet?"

I shook my head. "Why do you think we do so many of these? Why do you think I kept correcting your form? Just try one."

I watched as he brought the shinai up and then down in a men strike. Cleared the helmet no problem. I had to smile and whistle a little 'I told you so…'

"Okay, now try it on the… practice…" I couldn't help it. I just started to laugh.

Poor Kenshin. I know it may seem very cruel to do. But you have to admit… it's kind of funny to watch him, once the most feared hitokiri in all of Japan, in situations like this. I think I was fair. We needed a practice dummy, Kenshin was the only person left and I don't have another set of armor. Besides, I did lend him all the extra pillows.

So there he is, standing in the middle of the courtyard with a dozen or so pillows tied onto his head, chest and arms. I trusted Yahiko to hit correctly and not do any real damage… I think.

"Sorry, sorry," I said, holding up a hand while trying to stop myself from laugh.

"Kaoru-dono… I really don't think…"

"You'll be fine," I said with a smile. "Yahiko, give it a try."

Yahiko nodded and looked at Kenshin with apprehension. A bit slower than normal, he brought down the shinai towards Kenshin's head… and hit nothing but air. Nani?

"Kenshin!" I called. "Don't move!"

"Demo…" But I just glared and that was enough to silence him.

Yahiko tried again but with a little 'oro', Kenshin dodged. "Kenshin!"

"Kaoru-dono, it's not my fault, that it's not. It's instinct for me to move when something tries to hit me."

I frowned and moved around behind him, throwing the helmet back on and putting my hands on his back. "There, now you should stay standing. Yahiko try it again…"

There's always that split second between when you realize you've done something really stupid and when it actually happens. I saw the shinai coming down and true to his word, Kenshin instinctively ducked. Which had the unfortunate side effect of throttling me forward right into the path of the oncoming wooden sword. 

A few seconds later I held my ringing head in my hands and had to wonder… in all our fights, it seemed like Kenshin was always use his superhuman speed to block anything the bad guys threw at his friends. So why the hell couldn't he block Yahiko's strike before it hit me in the head?

He read the question on my face and smiled innocently. Innocent… I bet, I thought as I clenched a fist.

The door swung open and Gensai-sensei walked in, followed quickly by Ayame and Suzume. The little girls ran up to Kenshin first (of course… even with the young ones, he's a magnet) and started to laugh at him there with all pillows strapped to him.

"Kaoru…" Gensai said looking over at Kenshin. "Ah…"

"Gomen, Gensai-sensei," I said, pulling off the helmet and putting down the shinai. "I was just practicing for…"

"For the tournament," he replied. "Yes, I saw in the paper. I wanted to ask if you wanted the training dummy back. You leant it to me a few years ago so I could teach some students about body structure."

I snapped my fingers. That's right! I had completely forgotten… Kenshin shot me a look, as if to ask if I had really forgotten it or not. So I just smiled innocently back at him.

***

__

Kenshin watched Kaoru and Yahiko walk off, taking Gensai and the girls home to get the dummy. Shaking his head slightly, he pulled off the pillows. He could have wondered if Kaoru had actually known about the training dummy but it wouldn't have mattered, he wouldn't have said no to her request.

The dojo was quiet and Kenshin had the chance to walk around without interruption. His feet traced the familiar path and a smile crossed his face. It was nice to have something familiar, something he could say was part of his life.

So many years of wandering, he never thought he would come to find a place where he could finally just… rest. 

He sat down on the stone bench near the koi pond and looked at the fish swimming about. In a lot of ways, he felt just like them, content to just swim around the same place for the rest of their days. 

But there was one piece to the puzzle missing, one last step before he could finally feel like his life was perfect.

And she was out right now, dragging back a heavy training dummy so she could improve her and Yahiko's skills. This tournament had gripped her with a fervor he had not seen in a long time. She was adamant that it was to restore the honor of her school with this, her best and possibly last chance to do so. But there was something more, he could sense that. And there was something in her eyes that he rarely saw. Doubt. And it was only when she looked at him.

He knew he wasn't helping matter much. It had been simpler with Tomoe because of the circumstances surrounding them. He smiled at the thought of his first love and their short happiness together. For a few months, he had actually believed he could live out his life as a peaceful farmer. 

Maybe that's why he kept hesitating. He knew what happiness was and he knew what it was like to lose it… he had almost lost it again not too long ago. But he had won and the nightmare of Kaoru's death turned out to be just that, only a nightmare. When they left Kyoto after Enishi's defeat, everything should have been answered. 

So why was there doubt in Kaoru's eyes? And why did he have a feeling that his own mirrored hers? What words could be spoken to clear the doubt away? 

***

"Yahiko! You have to keep up!" I called back, watching him struggle under the weight of the armor. 

There weren't many people walking on the country road but the few that were stared in disbelief as we passed by. I could hear Yahiko grumbling in the background but I ignored it. What, did he think this was any easier for me? 

The armor was trapping in all the heat and the bandages around my chest made it more difficult to breathe. Worse, the armor was probably chaffing away parts of my skin I wouldn't know until later tonight.

I sighed. So much for delicate feminine skin. Not that I had ever had it. But sometimes, walking down the streets of Tokyo, I almost wished I was like the other women. Perfect porcelain dolls.

But that was never going to be me. I chose my path a long time ago, to follow in my father's footsteps and not my mother's. It didn't mean that I didn't sometimes think about what my life would have been like if I had just become a lady like my father wanted. 

I heard him every night these days, in my mind just before sleep takes me. And he's always disappointed. The school is empty, the dojo is in disrepair and my heir is only assistant master, he would say. 

And he was right. But I was going to change that. I was going to prove to him and everyone that I was worthy of this school. And I was going to bring it back into prominence.

But I wondered if maybe in doing this, I wasn't going to push myself further away from Kenshin. I was rapidly becoming the complete inverse of Tomoe. How long before he…

"OI!"

I stopped running and thinking long enough to realize I had run out of road. We made it! I told Yahiko we'd run to the end of the road and we actually made it. I turned quickly to congratulate him and realized my mistake.

The bindings had been too tight and stole the oxygen from me without my realizing it. And quickly the world was taken away too.

***

**__**

Kaoru's hands clenched the mud. Her breathing was heavy. Her face was soaking wet, not just from the rain the poured from the skies but from tears as well. She looked down the road and realized how long she still had to go. 

Her first day of training and she could barely run the length of this road. How was she ever going to prove to her father that she could be a worthy student if she couldn't even run this short distance?

She dug her feet in and she stood up, feeling the mud push between the toes of her bare feet and into the blisters that had burst open already. But she pushed the pain away and slowly started to run again, trying to push against the wind and rain as she neared the end of the road.

When she finally got there, she collapsed once more, letting the rain fall on her face. She brought her hands up to her face and noticed that the nails were black with mud. Sitting up, she looked in a puddle and saw the damage. 

The kimono was destroyed, the once beautiful fabric lost beneath the mud. Her face was nearly black with all the dirt, her eyes had two black rings around them and were bloodshot from crying. Her hair had fallen out of the elaborate bun and hung loosely on her shoulders. 

Was that really her? She reached a hand forward and touched the pool, letting the reflection waver a bit before it disappeared completely under the sudden burst of rain. She stood up and looked down the road. Clenching her fists, she started to run down it again, ignoring the pain in her feet as she did.

***

"Kaoru!"

I blinked my eyes open and found I was staring at the blue sky, Yahiko pulling on my sleeve next to me. I took in a few breaths and nodded, pushing off the ground into seating position.

"Gomen," I said softly. "I didn't realize the binding were too tight. It made it hard to breathe."

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

I smiled slightly at him. Concern? Well of course. We were concerned about each other constantly. And I guess I hadn't helped matters by passing out.

"I'm fine," I said, producing a smile. I stood up. "Come on, we need to run back."

"Demo…"

"No," I interrupted, sensing what he would say next. "And don't tell Kenshin either. It was just a bout of stupidity on my part."

Yahiko looked at me and frowned. "Stupidity is normal for you," he snapped.

I could have gotten angry but I knew he was insulting me in the 'I'm worried about you' type of way. So I can let it slide without losing too much face. You know… maybe if Yahiko and I stopped insulting each other all the time, we might be able to actually express the way that we actually felt about each other. 

"Oi, busu! Come on, I'm hungry and Kenshin's cooking so I won't get poisoned."

Ah… what do you know. I'm feeling the urge to express my true feelings already. "Don't call me that, Yahiko-CHAN!" I cried, grabbing the shinai and running after him, shouting a few insults as I did.

***

__

Kenshin watched them come in, a bit surprised at the amount of energy they still had after their run. In fact they were still running. More like Yahiko was trying to run away from Kaoru as she waved her shinai at him.

They disappeared around the corner and Kenshin smiled, walking over to the now dry laundry. The wind suddenly picked up and Kenshin looked up at the darkening sky. Rain?

He barely had the chance to let the thought sit in his head before the sky burst and rain tumbled from the sky. He frowned at the laundry, watching it get wet. All that work… well, it wasn't like he minded the thought of doing it again. Laundry was a meditation after all.

He heard the cries from the back of the dojo and quickly left those thoughts behind as he ran quickly around the building to see what was wrong. He skidded to a stop as soon as he got there.

Their armor was gone, tossed onto the balcony so as not to ruin the leather. But it seemed whatever they had been fighting over was still at the forefront of their thoughts. Kaoru seemed intent to whack Yahiko over the head and the two of them were spinning in the mud as they fought.

Kenshin ran forward to pull them apart and he suddenly noticed it. They weren't yelling at all. They were laughing. Kaoru was trying to catch Yahiko but kept slipping in the mud and he couldn't get away for the same reason. So rather then just keep arguing, they had been reduced to fits of laughter.

Kenshin watched the scene with a growing smile. Despite the coldness of the rain, Kenshin didn't want to move from his spot. Watching the two of them playing in the rain and mud was producing the warmest feeling for him. They stopped and looked up at him with guilty smiles and finally got their footing.

"Its really raining, ne?" Yahiko asked, looking down at his drenched clothes.

"Mou, Kenshin," Kaoru asked looked at him. "What happened to the laundry?"

Kenshin's face fell slightly and it was Kaoru needed to know exactly what happened. She looked at him angrily as he started to back off, suddenly finding himself slipping in the mud. All the years of training and he was about to lose to some mud?

For some odd reason, Kaoru had finally managed to get her balance and was advancing towards him, muttering something about how nothing ever got done around this place. Kenshin realized this was some gods' idea of a joke as she suddenly slid forward in the mud and inadvertently took out his leg from under him.

The two of them hit the ground hard and Kenshin felt the mud seeping into his hair. He pushed himself upward and looked over to make sure that Kaoru was all right. She sat up and looked over at him with a bit of anger flaring in her eyes. He smiled as best he could, wondering what he could do to save himself from her wrath.

But someone else stepped in. From the other side of the back yard, Yahiko was bawling with laughter. That was all Kaoru needed to switch targets. Standing up, she took off after her student.

He sighed as he got up and walked over towards the bath, realizing they were all going to need to warm up after this night.

* * *

**__**

Translations for this chapter:  
Aka : Red, bloody  
Byakuren : White Lotus  
Dokuja : Poisonous snake  
Hitsuji : the Ram in Chinese zodiac  
Ishikiri : Stone cutter  
Kawa : River  
Kurochiku : black oak  
Shiinto : silent (as the grave)


	2. Chapter 2 : Training

Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews guys ^_^ This one is a bit harder to write then my other stories since I usually stick for more action stuff and stray away from this much fluff… and yes, there will be fluff. Massive amounts of fluff. So review kind of make me think that this isn't as bad as I think it is.

Calger469 - Thanks for the compliment! I try to be original whenever I can.

MP - I'm glad you like KS. I hope this one lives up to your expectations.

Suiren - Thanks ^_^ I'm writing as face as I can.

Kamimura Kaoru : Eesh… what a task master… just kidding ^_^ Thanks for the review.

Blue jeans - I'm still laughing at your review. And hopefully Kenshin is going to start getting the idea.

****

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Last Chance at Glory  
Chapter 2 : Training 

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One week passed and it was now three weeks were left before the tournament would occur. I was trying not to feel nervous but… it was hard. I saw Yahiko improving, working so hard to get used to the armor and hitting against the dummy but I couldn't say the same for me. 

I had fought against the Juppongatana in Kyoto. I was one of the most well known teachers in my part of Tokyo. But I still just didn't feel like it was going to be enough. The other schools were larger, had more teachers and most of all… they actually have masters at their school.

"All right, Yahiko," I called out. "That enough for today." He stopped and caught his breath. He nodded and walked out of the dojo, obviously happy that he could take off the heavy armor.

I let him go and turned to the training dummy with a frown. I brought the shinai up and brought it down quickly, feeling the reverberation run down my hands. It didn't feel right. No strength, no speed. No wonder there was no master in this school.

I paused and shifted my feet, raising the shinai again for the next strike.

***

**__**

"Wrong!" he called, watching with disappointment as Kaoru's shinai made contact. "There is no strength or speed behind that strike. Do it again."

"Hai, sensei!" Kaoru called and struck again at the dummy.

"Wrong!" her father called again. "Again."

Kaoru tried, she put all her energy into it but he always told her it was wrong. One week of training and she still couldn't get the simplest strike right. She pulled back and hit again and again and again.

The dojo emptied out as the other students left for home. The sun set, the sensei went for dinner but the dojo was still filled with the sounds of the shinai hitting the dummy. Kaoru's father walked by the door and looked inside, watching his daughter repeat the strike again and again.

He frowned slightly at the sight, wondering if he should go in and stop her. Her face was etched with determination and from the looks of the red blood slowly creeping down her arms, she was working her fingers down to the bone.

He paused a second later before leaving, deciding that it was better this way. She'd give up soon enough.

***

I moved to strike again but something caught me. I blinked and looked up, finding my arms were locked in place by another set of hands. I looked over and saw Kenshin slowly pulling the shinai from my hand.

"Nani?" I asked, completely confused.

"You have been practicing for almost an hour," he said.

I blinked again and brought my hands down, seeing the raw skin there. Had it already been an hour? I could still feel the traces of a memory in my mind. What horrible feeling that had been, when I woke up the next morning in the dojo, my hand completely torn to shreds.

But this time… someone had stopped me. I looked over at him with a sad little smile as he let my hands go.

"I guess… I guess I just got caught up," I said, rather lamely.

"Yahiko left for the night but he said you might still be in here," Kenshin said walking out the door.

I followed him silently towards the kitchen where dinner still sat, long since cooled. I sat down quietly, taking the food slowly to my mouth, trying to ignore the chopsticks as they pushed into my palms. I think I was so caught up in the simple action of getting the food from the plate to my mouth that I didn't even notice Kenshin moving around in the background. Then suddenly, there was a steaming bowl of water in front of me.

"Megumi-dono gave this to us," he said. "It should help."

I let my hands seep and instantly felt relief from the pain. I looked into the water, slowly making ripples with my fingers. It was just a bad memory, I thought to myself. I just needed to get my confidence back.

I looked up at caught the unhappy violet eyes staring at me. My head sank down again. Yes, I was definitely making things worse between us. But how… how could I not work this hard? I needed to prove to them that I was worthy of the name Kamiya. I needed to restore my school's honor. And I needed to prove to my father that I was worthy of the title of Master.

***

__

Kenshin watched her head sink down towards the bowl, watching her fingers in the water. Inside, his frown deepened further. He knew what she was doing, this sacrificial move to try to get stronger because he had done it himself.

He remembered the way his hands had bled when he first tried to learn how to use the sword. Hiko had chastised him for causing that much damage in one session. But Kenshin had kept pressing on. Because he needed to improve so that he wouldn't be weak anymore. 

He knew what she was doing but he didn't understand why. No one thought of her as weak. She had proven herself in fights all the time. And even if she wasn't fighting, she was one of their sources of strength. No one he knew would question her bravery or her courage.

And yet… he saw in her eyes again. Doubt. As if she doubted her own worthiness.

She stood up and apologized, taking the bowl with her as she went to her room and leaving him behind to wonder why. What was she trying to prove? And to whom? 

It occurred to him that maybe it wasn't someone he knew or more accurately, someone he had never had the chance to know. Kaoru spoke so rarely about her father, only saying he was strict and that he loved his school. 

He stood up and walked out the door to the balcony. Was it her father that Kaoru sought so desperately to prove herself to? Was it his shadow that caused the doubt in her eyes? It seemed like a simple answer to their problems. Kaoru was worried about the school, so she was just concentrating on that. 

But there was still that doubt in her eyes when she looked at him. 

***

"Kenshin!" I called out, pacing slowly in the courtyard. I didn't want to waste more time then necessary. It was aggravating enough when the leather gloves Yahiko and I had been using had finally cracked under the stress. It meant that repairs to the roof would have to wait and that the school would not be ready for new students.

Still, considering the odds we were facing at the tournament, it may not have been such an issue. Yahiko said he had seen some of the other schools practicing and they were holding matches between the students to pick the best of the crop. 

I had only two choices to begin with. Myself and Yahiko. How were we going to stand a chance against them?

"Gomen, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin said suddenly coming out of the house.

I nodded slowly and turned back to the dojo. " Yahiko! One thousand strikes!"

"Feh, easy," Yahiko said, smiling from his place on the porch.

"To each of the seven targets," I called back, smiling as I saw the smug look from his face fall. "We'll be back before you're done."

Kenshin held the door open while I walked out, fiddling with my hair to try to get it to stay in place. It was still frazzled from the helmet. Even my clothes were crinkled from the armor. I could have taken a moment to change but time was of the essence. The sun was already threatening to set and the stores would close if we didn't hurry.

Kenshin followed my pace, not muttering a word of complaint. In fact, he wasn't saying much of anything at all. And he had been like this for the past couple of days, every since he had to pull me out of the dojo.

Was this going to be it? I had to wonder. Did it finally occur to him that I wasn't ever going to be a real lady, like Tomoe? I could see the looks on people's faces as we passed. The 'there goes that female kenjutsu' look that I get from other woman all the time.

I didn't bother to return the stare today, I just let the people around me meld into a rainbow of pretty kimonos and porcelain. I was just concerned about one thing. Getting those gloves and then getting back to training.

The merchant district was still active when we got there. I wove my way through the people and got to the shop I was looking for. The proprietor knew me and we managed to settle on a fair price. He even wished me good luck at the tournament.

I walked outside and nodded to Kenshin to let him know I was done. It occurred to me that I had never wondered why he wanted to come along. It was broad daylight, there was no danger. It didn't look like he needed anything.

I was about to ask when I felt something soft brush my elbow. Stopping, I turned around and saw the silk kimono hanging from the roof. I knew I should have just kept going on but something rooted me in place. My hand went up and slowly touched the fabric, feeling the rough embroidery and smooth fabric under my fingers as I did.

***

**__**

The sun had set and Kaoru was exhausted. Practice had gone better today but the bandages on her hands were turning red again from the broken blisters on her hand. She'd have to ask for more medicine, she realized, not relishing the look her father would give her when she did.

His silent face always said volumes. It said she was a fool to keep trying, that she should just give up. And Kaoru was beginning to wonder if maybe he was right. She walked up to his room and paused at the door. She peeked through the crack and looked inside, surprised by the sight inside.

Her father was there, clutching a silk kimono that Kaoru knew was her mother's. The candlelight caught his face and it glistened. Kaoru stepped back. Was he crying? Over her mother's kimono? But, he had never once shown any sorrow over her mother's passing. He used to yell at her all the time. Why… why was he crying?

Kaoru barely remembered the months between when her mother got sick and when she died. But she remembered yelling. Her father was always yelling at his wife, telling her she was weak. 

It never occurred to Kaoru until now that her father hadn't hated his wife at all. But he had seen her withering away and done the only thing he knew. Tried to make her stronger. And when she had died, it was like he had failed to make her stronger. 

Kaoru knocked on the door, hearing the shuffle inside as her father put things away. There was a few moment pause before the door opened and he looked down at her, his face impassive. He said nothing, but seeing her hands went to retrieve the medicine. Kaoru started to walk away but stopped.

"I'll be strong, Otosan," she said looking over her shoulder. "I'll prove to you that I can be strong."

***

"Kaoru-dono?"

I let the kimono fall, quickly feeling the clenching in my heart ease. I blinked a few times, coming back to normal. I looked at Kenshin, forcing a smile. 

"I think Yahiko hit me harder in the head than I thought," I said quickly, walking away and staring at my feet.

Otosan… I thought as I moved away. Was the reason you never wanted me to take up the art because of what happened with mom? Were you afraid that somehow I would follow her fate if I tried to follow yours?

I remembered all the times that I had almost fulfilled that thought. In all this time of working to become more like my father, had I just come around full circle and turned into my mother? A woman whose weaknesses eventually overtook her and carried her away from us?

There was Kyoto, when Kenshin had left and I hadn't even wanted to move from my bed. It was just like her, just like my mother, to do something like that. To just give up without a fight. And the only reason I had managed to pull myself together was because of my friends.

I looked over at Kenshin, reading the worry off his face. Something clenched my heart, a sudden feeling of fear that I was doing it again. That I was giving up without a fight. So what if I wasn't like Tomoe? I was Kamiya Kaoru. I fought in battles with Kenshin and the others all the time. I was strong…

But no, I realized. If I was strong, then I wouldn't be walking down the street with this feeling of dread. And I wouldn't be scared about losing the tournament. And I wouldn't be afraid that I wasn't good enough to compete in the tournament… or against Tomoe.

"Gomen," I said suddenly, picking up the pace. "But I need to get these to Yahiko right away." And before I let him answer, I ran off towards the dojo. 

***

__

Kenshin watched her run off and could only wonder what had gone in her mind. He had seen an entire range of emotions play through her eyes. He waited until she disappeared down the street and opted for another route. He wasn't going to get the chance to talk to her now anyway.

A few minutes later, he walked in Gensai's clinic. The girls didn't come running up which meant they were probably asleep. Not he would have minded their attention but he needed a few moments of quiet to talk with Gensai.

The elderly doctor read the look on Kenshin's face and led him to the backroom for tea. Gensai waited, deciding not the press the situation along and rather let the confused rurouni begin.

"Gensai-sensai," Kenshin said, slowly putting down the cup. "What was Kaoru-dono's father like?"

Gensai nodded, realizing his assumptions were correct. "Kamiya-san?" He paused. "He was a good man, very strict but… for reasons he thought were correct."

"What do you mean?"

Gensai sighed. "His wife's death effected him greatly. He had always been a strong soldier and was confident that he could protect his family and home against anything. But… there are some things no man can fight against. Still, in the face of tragedy, he needed something to blame. So he blamed her weakness as a woman for her inability to fight against the disease and closed himself to his daughter."

Gensai smiled slightly. "But you know Kaoru… she was stubborn as a child too. And she wasn't willing to accept his solution. So when he said he didn't want her to follow his path, she did it anyway, even though she was so young. She pushed herself with such fervor… it's hard to explain."

"It's not," Kenshin said suddenly. "Because I think she's doing it again."

Gensai nodded. "It's not surprising. She may not show it with true emotions, but the fact that her family's school has fallen out of favor weighs on her heavily. The chance she has been given… it's almost the same as when she found a way to get into her father's life once more."

He paused, holding the cup in his hands. "I thought maybe it would be different this time because there were people around her to help. But it's the same story I have heard so many times before. The smartest man can give correct advice to whatever dilemma someone faces. But only the wisest can actually follow that advice when faced with the same crisis.

"Kaoru is smart but stubborn. And while I know she has been a source of strength to many of you, she won't see the strength within herself now. She may preach the importance of working as a group but she will not use it herself for fear of burdening others. I think you can understand that, Himura-san."

Kenshin nodded slowly. "Thank you, Gensai-sensei. I think I see things much clearer." He stood up slowly.

"I am glad to be a help, especially when it concerns Kaoru." Gensai said. "But Himura-san… there is one thing that you must remember." Kenshin looked at him.

"Kaoru is strong," Gensai emphasized, "but… the path of kenjutsu she chose takes her away from other women and leaves her outside the normal course of life that they get to lead." He paused. "The further she pushes herself into her art, the further she will believe she is moving away from that normality. And no matter how much she acts like it doesn't matter, I have known her long enough to know it does. This tournament is a turning point for her. To win means to restore honor to her school and her family, but it may, in her eyes, be the final step completely away from that chance at life. That belief may be the one thing that holds her back. And while her actions of late may make you inclined to tell her to stop pushing herself, I think this is the exact opposite of what she needs. With help from you and the others, Kaoru can win this tournament without hurting herself. She needs to win this tournament to finally put to rest her own fears and doubts."

***

The idea came to me the next morning. Yahiko kept seeing the other schools practicing and it was worrying him more than it should. And I could barely keep my mind on things with all the distractions in Tokyo. So I talked to Yahiko and we decided it was a good idea. We'd go to Mt. Fuji for a week and train there. It would let us clear our minds before the final week of the tournament. 

I needed to go. I needed to not think of all the things that were plaguing my mind and just concentrate on my swordsmanship. No more memories of the past, no more worries about the future and no more…

I paused looking in the kitchen as Kenshin moved about making breakfast. Okay, part of me knew I was running away from the whole problem but… I couldn't face it anymore. I should just be up front about it, tell him I knew I wasn't ever going to be like other women and that I knew… I knew that… 

My finger curled at the doorframe as I tried to find the words but he heard the sound and turned to face me. And there were those violet eyes staring at me and anything I had wanted to say just died on my lips. 

"Kaoru-dono?"

"Yahiko and I are going away," I blurted out. He looked a bit shocked. "To train," I said more calmly. "The other schools… I think Yahiko is too concerned about them and I need to get him a way for a while, a week at most."

"That makes sense," he replied. I tried to find the words to say that he needed to stay behind but he beat me to it. "I have something to take care of too. So I was going to be gone this week."

I paused and nodded. Something to take care of? I wanted to ask what it was. Everything in my mind was screaming to ask him what it was. But…

"Then I'll ask Gensai-sensei to watch over the dojo," I said with a smile. I heard the door swing open and Yahiko calling out my name so I left quickly.

Did I really want to know? If it was a mission for the police, he would have just told me. So this was something… personal. Something he wouldn't be up front about. A million things flood through my mind, most of them bad. And then there was a little feeling of dread in me that I really didn't want to know what it was. 

The courtyard unfolded in front of me. I looked up at Yahiko with a nod and he smiled in return. Getting away will be good, he seemed to say. 

Yes, I thought sadly, we all needed to get away for a while.


	3. Chapter 3 : The Mountain

Author's note : Thanks for all the reviews. They definitely help, believe me. This is so much harder to write then action but still a bit easier than humor ^_^

Just a quick reminder 'cause it gets a bit condensed at the end of this chapter:

Normal font – Kaoru's POV (1st person)

****

Bold font – Anything printed (letters, articles, etc)

__

Bold Italic font – Flashback

Italic font – Kenshin's POV (3rd person)

It's pretty obvious whose saying what, but it's worth repeating.

**__**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last Chance at Glory  
Chapter 3 : The Mountain

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hurry up, Yahiko!"

I readjusted the weight on my shoulder with a frown. The walk here had been a bit more tiring then I expected. Of course with all the food and equipment we had to bring, I should have realized it would be tough. No matter how much Yahiko glared at me, I knew he'd be glad when we had warm blankets and precooked food tonight.

I paused and looked up, finally seeing a break in the foliage. And there it was. Mount Fuji, towering up to the heavens, surrounded by clouds. It was such a humbling sight. It made me feel so small and yet so completely in touch with nature. This was a good idea, we'd be able to clear our minds, connect with nature and…

"HEY BUSU! Move your big butt out of the way," Yahiko said, walking in front of me.

My eyebrow twitched. A series of very painful maneuvers flashed through my mind, followed quickly by the desire to try every single one of them on my impudent student.

"It's bigger than I thought it would be," he said suddenly and my anger swept away. He was looking up at the mountain with the same look of awe I had. "I always wanted to see it up close…" He paused and I saw something cross his face.

I smiled. Yahiko always had that look when he was about to say something nice to me but couldn't find the strength to do it. It's all right. I knew what he was thinking. This was a good idea.

"Oh you'll see it up close," I said with a smile. "You'll see the top of it." He nodded. Climbing Mount Fuji was a bit daunting but he wasn't going to complain. "But first… Hakone."

Yahiko snickered. "Going to get your portrait painted again?"

I hit on the head for good measure. There was no reason to bring that up. But it still made me smile to remember that poor, misguided artist and his 'attempts' to beat Kenshin. 

I sighed. So much from not thinking about the redheaded rurouni during this trip. Why did everything remind me of him? No, I wasn't going to mope. Let him go off where ever he was going and do whatever he needed to do. This was about Yahiko and I and our training.

Hakone came up in front of us and it was just a wonderful as I remembered. I wondered if Yahiko even knew the significance of what this place once was. The Tokugawa shogunate had built it to prevent two things from leaving Edo, guns and women.

But no one stopped me today. They didn't even acknowledge us as we passed through the town. I wasn't interested in Hakone this time. Fuji-san was the only place I wanted to visit.

"Can't we just stop for one night?" Yahiko asked.

I looked over at him angrily. "This isn't a vacation," I snapped. "This is training. We'll sleep outside to strengthen ourselves for the climb tomorrow."

"Why is it so important to climb anyway?" he asked.

"Because there was a time that I wasn't allowed to."

Yahiko looked at me a bit confused and I had to explain that until Meiji, women were not allowed on the mountain. I think he was expecting me to get upset at him for not knowing that. But it was the exact opposite. Yahiko was part of a generation that would never know what it was like to grow up under the Tokugawa. And when they were grandparents, the memory of it would have faded completely.

"So I want to climb it now," I finished, "because I can." 

***

**__**

"You can not continue!"

"Otosan, you promised me one month to prove myself. I still have…"

"No! It was a bad idea. You should have not made it this far."

"But I did. Why won't you let me have the chance to prove I can master Kamiya Kasshin Ryu?"

"Because you… you should not be involved in swordsmanship."

"Why? If a woman can leave Tokyo now without question… if she can climb to the top of Mount Fuji, why can't she take up the sword? How many women in the past have done it anyway?"

"My daughter will not be one of them."

"Your daughter has made her choice."

There was a long silence as the conversation came to an impasse. The little girl was not moving but concentrated on her father's face. He looked at her with anger matching her own.

"I didn't want to have to do this," he said finally. "But you will have learn the true nature of the sword. Tomorrow, you will fight and you will learn."

***

Hakone was suddenly behind me and the road was finally turning towards Fuji. I pushed the pace, knowing that Yahiko's back must hurt as much as mine. But it became obvious we wouldn't make it there today.

We spent a few minutes collecting out breath before setting up camp. The sun had already begun to set and we needed a fire going before we lost the last bit of light. As soon as it was roaring away, we unpacked the blankets and food and just relaxed.

I enjoyed the silence. Having become so used to the sounds of Tokyo, moments like this had become precious. The crickets were chirping in the background while the wind rustled through the tree. It was so… peaceful.

"Ne, Kaoru?"

I blinked and looked over at Yahiko, waiting for the snide comment. "Nani?"

"This was a good idea," he said firmly. And I just nodded.

***

__

The train whistled once more before pulling out of the station onto the next destination. Kenshin walked down the steps, pulling the bag over his shoulder and taking in the sights and sounds of Kyoto. Every time here made it a bit easier to come the next time. But there were still a lot of memories that seemed too fresh.

He wound his way through the streets, walking a somewhat familiar path the Aoiya. He felt a bit guilty about showing up like this, without sending a letter in advance. But there hadn't been anytime to do it.

He heard the noise before he even saw the building. The Aoiya was packed for lunch and he had to weave his way through people to find someone familiar.

"Himura-san!" Omasu said as soon as she saw him.

He bowed slightly in greeting. "Hello again, Omasu-dono. I am sorry that…"

"You're late," she said impatiently. "The train got in at least twenty minutes ago. What took you so long?"

Kenshin blinked in surprise and then smiled. Of course… this place also doubled as the home of the Oniwabanshu, a group of spies who probably knew more about Japan then the Emperor himself. Should he have been surprised that his arrival had not gone unnoticed?

"Misao went out to get you," Omasu said. "Aoshi is… meditating of course. Everyone else is very busy. As you can see there are a lot of people here."

"Can I help?" he asked.

Omasu nodded. "There are dishes in the back that need to be done and…" she trailed off, eyes opening wide.

Kenshin's senses prickled and he prepared himself for what was coming. It happened so quickly, he barely had time to steady himself as the weight of the little girl hit him at full speed.

"Himura!" Misao said happily. She let him go long enough to catch his breath. "You're late! I went to look for you."

"Gomensai, Misao-dono," he replied with a smile.

"Oi," Omasu called. "If you two are done talking, we could really use some help here."

"Coming!" Misao replied, dragging Kenshin into the back.

***

"We made it!" Yahiko said.

I nodded. "To the base at any rate." Looking up at the mountain, I really had to wonder if this was a good idea. Fuji looked so… tall. And impassable. And…

"We're really going to climb that?" Yahiko asked.

I wasn't going to back down now so I looked at him firmly and nodded. I steeled myself, took the first step forward and started to climb. 

It was easy at first, just one foot after the other. But half a day into the hike and it was almost impossible to keep walking straight. My feet hurt, my back was screaming in protest. I wanted to stop.

I looked back and Yahiko was following me silently. His face never betrayed his feelings, never expressed his emotions. He was so strong, I realized. Only eleven years old and this strong. I could only wonder where his path would take him one day. 

I didn't want to stop but someone else stepped in. The strap on my bag suddenly broke and the bag came tumbling off my shoulder and towards him. Yahiko moved quickly, stopping the bag before it went any further.

"Watch it!" he yelled. "Che… are you trying to kill me?"

"It's not like I made the bag strap break," I protested.

"Feh, knowing you, you probably did."

I glowered and tried to contain my anger. 

"And this is the bag with food in it," he said, putting down his pack. "If we lost the food then we'd be stuck eating whatever we found on this mountain. We don't know what's poisonous or not! Of course, if you cooked it…"

"That's enough of that Yahiko-CHAN."

"Don't call me CHAN!"

We stared at each other angrily for a few minutes before just collapsing on the ground in exhaustion. That little fight had managed to knock us both down. It figured that we could make it this far only to let the exhaustion take us during a fight.

I started to laugh. It was rather funny after all. And next to me, I know I heard Yahiko chuckle as well.

"Well, since you sat down," I said. "We might as well have lunch."

"I didn't sit down! You sat down first!"

"You put down your pack first."

"No I didn't! Yours came off first!"

"Because the strap broke!"

"And whose fault is that, tanuki musume?"

***

**__**

"Come on tanuki musume. Give me your best shot."

Kaoru's eyes narrowed. What had he just called her? Her grip tightened on the shinai. Her front leg leaned forward, slowly picking the heel of the ground. The movement was so slight that her opponent never saw it.

The only thing he saw was the shinai come straight at his head. He flinched and fell backwards, landing roughly on his behind. The assembled group started to laugh.

"What are you laughing for?" the sensei yelled. "A girl half your age just beat your classmate. Is that funny?"

"No, sensei," came the response.

Kaoru straightened up and looked over at her father, eyes narrowed. Even now, he wasn't going to be on her side.

"This weak little girl shouldn't be a problem for any of you," he said. "Matsuda," he said looking at the man on the floor. "Get out of this dojo. Go home and practice. Until you can block a simple strike you are not allowed back in here."

The man looked at his sensei with no emotions and bowed slightly. All the anger and hate he had been feeling he saved for Kaoru and bundled it up in a nasty glare that he shot her as he left.

No, her father wasn't going to be on her side. More like the exact opposite.

"Kamiya Kasshin Ryu is a style of protection. How can you hope to protect people if you can't protect yourselves from a girl?" He looked around the room. "Who's next?"

***

"Don't CALL ME THAT!" I yelled throwing the nearest thing I could find at Yahiko. He dodged and came back with a smile, meaning he wasn't ready for the second throw. It hit him square on the forehead and he cursed, falling backwards.

He put his hand to his forehead and it came back slightly red. Blood? His eyes seemed to say. I just rolled my eyes and opened my hand to show him the berries I had picked off the ground. His anger increased at least tenfold but I just started to laugh. And after a few seconds, he seemed to find the humor in it to and began to laugh.

"Yeah it is kind of funny," he said standing up and brushing himself off. "But let's see how you like it!" 

He lunged faster than I thought he could and I felt the berries crush in my hair. I let out a horrified little yelp before I went after him. 

"Come back here!" I cried running after him as he took off, bounding around the rocks.

It never occurred to worry about the bags we left behind. Besides, we hadn't seen anyone else during our climb up. What was the worse that could happen?

***

__

The dirt path looked more worn then he remembered. The tiny hut in front of him still spewed out a white cloud of smoke to the sky. It looked like nothing had changed since Kenshin had been there last.

Amazing. That's the only word he could use to describe this. He had faced all sorts of odds in fights, beaten the best swordsmen in Japan and still… still he always felt his stomach knot when he followed this road.

He paused in front of the door and knocked. There was a pause and some shuffling inside before the door flung open.

Hiko Seijuurou stood in front of him, a mountain of a man. The billowing cloak sat on his shoulders, covered slightly by the cascade of hair. His eyes looked up and then down at the short red headed man in front of him.

"Baka deshi," he said unhappily.

"Shishou," Kenshin said kneeling to the ground. "I am sorry to disturb you."

"It appears your purpose in life is to disturb me," Hiko said. "What do you want? You know everything I could teach you about Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu." Hiko paused. "Of course, this isn't about that, is it? What then?"

"Shishou… I came to ask you a question… about…"

Hiko paused and then started to laugh, a loud rumbling sound that echoed through the mountains. Kenshin looked up a bit perplexed. "Tell this is about an enemy," Hiko laughed. "Tell me this is about a threat to Japan."

"No," Kenshin said softly. "It's not…"

"I know it's not baka deshi," Hiko said, slowly starting to come back in control. "I just couldn't believe that you would come all this way to talk about women."

Kenshin paused and wondered how good an idea this had been. But then… who else could he have asked? As much as Hiko berated him, Kenshin knew that he was as close to a father as he was going to get. But then… this was Hiko. 

"Look around you," Hiko said. "Are you sure that a man who lives in the forest alone is the one you should be asking?"

Kenshin nodded. That was his answer. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you," he said standing up.

"Oi," Hiko said. "You think you can just disturb me and then just leave? Go get the bucket and bring back some water."

Kenshin balked. He couldn't be serious. But a few minutes later, Kenshin found himself struggling with a full bucket back up the road to Hiko's little hut. This was ridiculous… but who else was there to ask in the end? Aoshi?? Ha! Even if Sano was here, Kenshin didn't think his friend would be the best source of information. 

He sighed as he dropped the bucket of water in the hut. Hiko looked over at him with a smile and a chuckle. Kenshin scowled. Hiko had definitely not been the best choice.

"Is that all, shishou?" he asked.

Hiko looked over and pointed at the bucket and then the pot above the fire. Kenshin paused for a second before following the directions.

"Now can I go?" Kenshin asked.

"You could go anytime you want," Hiko replied. "It's just amusing that you still listen to what I tell you to do." Kenshin balked. 

Hiko sighed and sat back in his seat. "What are you doing here, baka deshi? Why aren't you back in Tokyo producing a couple of kids with that girl of yours?"

Kenshin sat down on the ground and folded his arms. Hiko laughed again. "You used to do that when you were younger. It meant, you didn't want to talk about it." He carefully placed the clay flask into the warming water.

"But you do want to talk about it, since you came up here," Hiko said. "And I am your shishou so I should be able to answer any question you have."

Kenshin sat still for a moment and then relaxed slightly. "It's… not simple."

"Of course it's not," Hiko replied. "If it was, what would the point be to life? So she said no?"

"No, it's not that."

"Did you ask?"

"No… I…"

"Why not?"

Kenshin paused. "Doubt," he replied.

"Doubt?"

"In her eyes. There's always doubt. I think I know why but… I don't know what to do." Kenshin stopped. There was silence. After a few moments, he looked up at Hiko.

"Baka deshi," the man said suddenly. "What did I teach you?"

"What?" Kenshin asked, somewhat confused.

"What do you do when you look in an opponent's eye and see doubt?"

"Attack," Kenshin replied. "Don't give them the chance to think… just attack. But… but this isn't the same!"

"It's not?" Hiko replied. "How is it not?"

"She's not an enemy! She's not someone to attack!"

"No, she's not," Hiko said with a sigh as he pulled out the ceramic flask and took a sip. Kenshin shook his head. Hiko made no sense what so ever! Hiko frowned and put the flask back into the warm water. 

"What happens when you let an enemy think about their doubt?" Hiko asked.

Kenshin paused. "It… it depends."

"No," Hiko replied. "It's always the same. The doubt completely controls them and they'll run away or collapse into a quivering pile of cowardice. That's the thing about doubt. The minute you have it, it's almost impossible to get rid of and it just keeps getting worse. As a swordsman, you can use it and exploit it in your opponent, destroy your target before they have the chance to get away. But in life… doubt is something much crueler. Because there is no swift escape from it like a sword to the gut."

The room fell quiet, broken only by the boiling water in the pot. Hiko reached over and grabbed the flask. "Tell me, when you came to Kyoto… did she ever doubt you would return?"

Kenshin paused, remembering bits and pieces of the stories he had heard. "For a while…"

"But then she came here," Hiko replied. "It meant, she overcame her own doubts to do so. Wouldn't it be wise to do the same for her now?"

"But I don't dou…"

"Then why are you here?" Hiko interrupted. Hiko took a sip of the flask and nodded firmly. "No man can give up their past, the bad of it… and the good. But to dwell on it, to worry it will repeat again, means you live a life of doubt. Don't say good-bye to it... just say thank you and move on."

Kenshin looked up and watched Hiko drink down the flask. "Shishou…"

Hiko held up a hand. "Don't think of saying anything mushy now. I didn't do this for you. I except your first born here before they turn five. Maybe then I'll be able to train someone worthy of being the heir to Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu."

***

"Yahiko! COME BACK HERE!!" 

Yahiko bounded up the cliff, deftly moving among the rocks. I stopped to catch my breath, realizing it was harder than I remembered to do so. Was I out of shape?

"KAORU!"

I bolted, running up to the cliff where Yahiko's cry had come from. I slid to a stop in front of him and wondered what had caused him to yell like that. And then I saw it. A tori gate in front of him and one in the distance.

"We made it?" he asked.

I paused and nodded. We had been climbing for a long time. And I had read it should only take a little more than half a day to do it. I covered my mouth to hide the smile. But he saw it and shared it. After all… only the two of us would get so caught up in trying to kill each other that we would run the last part of the climb.

"Can we go to the top?"

I nodded and watched as he took off, taking the steps a few at a time. I wanted to call out for him to be careful, that it was harder to breath here. But his youthful energy was already taking him up to the top.

I took in a deep breath and followed after him. Up at the top, Yahiko stood transfixed by what he saw. To the east was the barest outline of Tokyo. The green forests seemed to completely encircle it and the mountain as well. In the distance was the ocean, a clear blue for as far as I could see.

"It's… so pretty," he said finally. 

I nodded. "It really is."

"I always wanted to come here," he said again. "My father said he would take me but…" Yahiko trailed off.

Carefully, I put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and paused for a moment, as if torn with what to say.

"Arigato," he said finally. And I just nodded.

We turned back to the beauty of the vista. Master and student… but something more. My little brother.

"Kaoru?" he said.

"Yes Yahiko?"

"What's that?" he asked pointing towards the water. I paused and looked, trying to make out what he was looking out. The ocean was blue for most of what I could see. But then at the end… Gray, white and fuzzy. And growing in size rather quickly. I shook my head.

"I don't think that's a good thing," I said suddenly. 

"Is it a typhoon?" he asked.

The season was right but… no it couldn't be. Not now.

"The equipment!" I said, suddenly realizing our mistake. "We have to go back and get it." I took off, heading down again. We could make it, we could get the stuff and then come back to the top, to seek shelter in the shrine there. 

The rain started before we were even halfway back. And it wasn't the pleasant sort of summer rain at all. It was angry, large pellets of water flung down from the sky. How far away was the equipment? We couldn't have been running for more than an hour! The sky turned black and the winds began. Running down became all the more harder.

"Kaoru!" Yahiko called, grabbing onto my sleeve. "We have to go back!"

But no! The equipment! The armor!! I couldn't leave it. I didn't have any more or the money to replace it! But Yahiko was right… this was too getting dangerous.

"Go back to the shrine, Yahiko," I yelled over the wind. "I have to get the equipment."

"Baka! You think I'd leave you here by yourself!"

"Yahiko, don't argue with me!"

"No! I'm not…"

There was a loud rumbling and I looked up. It looked like half the mountain was coming down towards us. Mudslide, my mind screamed, you have to…

The wave hit us before we even had the chance to react. I felt myself swept away, struggling to keep above the rising tide of dirt. I saw the large rock and snapped my hand out, catching it quickly and holding on tight with both hands.

I realized something was coming towards me and let the left hand go, letting fall into the mud and catching the figure coming towards me. I pulled for a minute and brought Yahiko as close to the rock as possible. A large gash on his head confirmed my fears. He was out cold.

The mud started to slow down and I realized this was my only chance. Going down with the flow meant I could loose control too easily and get buried without knowing it. I had to climb up against it, find some sort of shelter and wait this out.

I put one foot down and stepped forward, pushing against the mud.

**__**

"AGAIN! Takayama… that was pathetic! She beat you in two strikes! NEXT!"

I could do this. I just had to believe I could. 

**__**

"Three of you! Why have three of my students been beaten so easily?"

Another step and my muscles were screaming for release. The mud was only to my knees now but it was still so difficult to move through it.

**__**

"This is just a little girl. It should not be this hard to defeat her!"

My foot slipped and I hit the ground hard, barely holding on to Yahiko. My hand was buried quickly in the mud. Was it running stronger again? 

**__**

"She is just a weak little girl!"

It was getting stronger! The rain was picking up again so the mud would come again. I needed to move. I needed to get away from here as quickly as possible.

__

Kenshin sat in front of the memorial tablet, watching the incense burn, the reverse bladed sword sitting on his lap. Silent words ran through his mind and he smiled. It had been a good time. One of the few from back then. And he didn't want to say good-bye at all.

The wetness on my face was from more than just the rain, the salty taste burned my lips. It was too much, I couldn't do it. I couldn't fight against it anymore.

__

He didn't want to say good-bye. So he just said thank you.

No, I can't give up, I realized, looking down at Yahiko. I can't give up because I needed to get both of us to safety. Because Yahiko was depending on me to save him.

__

He pulled the blade from its sheath, letting the blade catch the light.

Because I could do this. 

__

Slowly, he leaned his head forward, flipping the blade around and putting the dull end by his neck.

I can do this.

__

He pulled upward, cutting through the long red hair until the blade was free. He looked down at his hand, seeing the bushel of hair. He smiled slightly and let it fall in front of the marker.

I will do this.

**__**

"Who else? Have all my years as sensei been wasted?"

One step at a time, I thought. That's how I've always done it. 

**__**

"She has beaten each and everyone of you…"

And it worked. The river of mud was behind me and the slightly elevated part of the mountain was acting like a little island of safety. I collapsed there, bringing Yahiko next to me just as the mud moved again, sweeping down the mountain but far away from us.

I looked up in the sky and let the rain fall down on my face, washing away the tears and the dirt. And I smiled.

**__**

"Otosan… I fulfilled my promise. One month and I have beaten all your beginning students. Now you must teach me the way of the sword. Teach me Kamiya Kasshin Ryu."


	4. Chapter 4 : The Journey Home

Author's note : Phew… this one took longer than I ever remember a chapter for any story taking. But it's done and… well…

Everyone commented on the short hair in their reviews ^_^ I don't know but I thought he looked pretty good with it at the end of the manga. As for why… well that's the chapter is all about.

So yeah, I hope this works. Leave a review if you feel so inclined.

**__**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last Chance at Glory  
Chapter 4 : The Journey Home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kenshin's feet eventually led him back to the Aoiya. Night had long since fallen and the lights inside made the shadows dance on the gravel road. He steeled himself and opened the door, ready for the assault for being so late. 

But all activity in the Aoiya stopped the moment he stepped inside. The restaurant had closed not too long ago so the only people inside were the residents of the building. They had been in the process of cleaning up before he walked in but all interest in chores seemed lost.

Kenshin saw the familiar face across the room and nodded firmly, answering the question on his comrade's face. Aoshi looked at him and the barest twitch of a smile appeared on his lips.

"Congratulations," Aoshi said.

"To what?" Misao asked, suddenly appearing from the kitchen. "Himura… you cut your hair." Misao paused and looked around. "What's wrong with everyone?"

"Misao," Omasu said, kneeling down to the shorter girl. "Do you know why sometimes people cut their hair very short?"

Misao's brow furrowed. "To change the way they look?"

Omasu tilted her head from side to side. "Sometimes. But other times, its more symbolic, like they are cutting away a part of themselves so that they can… change something in their lives."

Misao looked from Omasu to Aoshi and finally back at Kenshin, the gears in her head turning. And then suddenly, her face lit up. "Finally," she said happily, bounding over to glomp him.

Her reaction finally broke the spell and the Aoiya quickly switched from cleaning to celebrating. And the celebrations went on for many hours, until the sun was to begin its climb in the sky. Only, there was no sun, just darkness that had no break.

The strangeness of the dawn was answered when Kyoto officials came through the streets shouting warnings. A typhoon had hit Japan up North and was heading straight for them.

"Where did it hit?" Okina asked, grabbing the man who was passing by.

"Mount Fuji," he replied. "Messengers from Tokyo were sent out immediately but they were plagued by problems getting here."

"It's that bad?"

The official nodded. "They say the mountain itself shook when it hit. The roads are washed out, the rivers have all overflowed. Mudslides took out a small village, all the messenger found was debris."

Okina nodded and let the man go on his way. Turning back into the house, he thought of how best to relay the message. His Oniwabanshu were already making preparations (though trying to do so in their half drunken state was proving somewhat amusing).

"How long do we have?" Shiro asked, trying desperately to balance a wooden board but failing miserably.

"Enough time," Okina said with a little nod. He shot a look over at Aoshi and motioned over towards the red head. Aoshi frowned and nodded.

He looked over at the rurouni as Kenshin attempted to hammer a nail into a board. Kenshin paused and looked up, sensing someone watching him. Okina walked over and relayed the story, knowing what reaction he would get. But Aoshi was there and managed to catch him before he fled out the door on a foolish pursuit.

Okina explained again, the conditions of the roads, the dangers the storm was producing. But it was obvious there was only one thing on Kenshin's mind and he seemed rather hell bent to do it.

And while Okina seemed rather determined to make him stay put, if a legend-sized typhoon wasn't going to stop him, what could one little old man do? 

***

My feet seemed to celebrate the familiar feel of the dojo ground but my heart was still heavy. The condition of my house didn't help matters at all. I could see a hole in the roof, caused by an errant tree branch. The koi pound had overflowed but I couldn't bring myself to check on the condition of the fish.

I stumbled down the path, hearing the echo of footsteps behind me. Glancing quickly, I looked at Yahiko, his head bandaged from the cut he had received, and wondered what to say.

After the storm abated, I had managed to get up to the shrine and they took care of us before sending us back down the mountain. I searched for the equipment but… but they were just gone.

The shinais. The bokkens. But most of all the two sets of armor. I didn't have enough money to even replace one set, let alone two. And without armor, we couldn't fight in the tournament.

I wanted to cry but every time I looked at Yahiko… I realized I would have done a million times over if it meant that he could be safe. So I didn't get upset because of that and because I saw the pain on Yahiko's face and knew it would only make matters worse. 

He hadn't said anything since the storm and I knew not to force him. But when we walked through the door, I heard it. It was the most horrifying thing I could have ever imagined.

"Gomensai," Yahiko sniffled. "It's my fault!"

I don't know whether it was because he was taking the blame or the fact that he actually was crying, but the combination had rooted me in place. I turned to face him and suddenly found myself coming to terms with something.

"I shouldn't have insulted you and run away," he continued. "If I hadn't, we still have the armor and…"

Yahiko was still a little boy. He had been through so much but he was still only eleven years old. And I had been pushing him so hard in this. And he shouldn't have been involved. But I had made him come along and he had almost gotten killed…

"No," I said finally letting myself cry. "It's my fault, I shouldn't have made you come. I shouldn't have gotten you involved. Restoring the school… that should have fallen only on me…"

"BAKA!" Yahiko suddenly cried, anger quickly replacing his sorrow. "It's not just you. The school doesn't just belong to you. It belongs to me to, and to Yutaro and to anyone else who studied here or who's lived here."

"Yahiko…" I managed.

Yahiko firmed up his face. "You asked me to fight with you," he said firmly. "And I agreed because this school is mine too. Unless all the training has just been for show," he said trailing off.

I shook my head. "No, it hasn't, I did need you as a partner… I feel like I was burdening you too much. You shouldn't have to worry…"

Yahiko glared at her. "Are you joking?" he asked. 

I blinked. Strange, nothing I said was anything but serious.

"Feh," Yahiko said, with his hands on his hips. "You butt into everyone else's life, give them help even if they don't want it and now you expect us not to do the same."

"Yahiko…" I tried again. But looking at him with a frown on his face, most of my arguments died on my lip. Was he right? Was this a case of giving advice and not taking it? 

"I messed up and we lost the armor. So what are WE going to do about the mess," he asked.

I sighed and whipped away the tears. Maybe… maybe Yahiko was right. "We need to clean up the debris," I said.

"And the armor?"

"We'll replace it," I said firmly.

"You have the money?" he asked.

Maybe Yahiko was right about helping but there were some things that he was too young to help with. "Not yet, but I will."

***

**__**

The woman shifted slightly, her arms pushing upwards to rebalance the load there. She leaned down and placed a pale hand on the merchandise.

"Karou-chan," she said to the bundle in her arms. "Kaoru-chan, look at your mother."

The little girl turned her head towards the voice but her fingers stayed in twined in her mother's hair. Her own hair bobbed slightly in the pigtails as she turned, bright blue eyes staring up at the woman. "Nani?" the shrill little voice called as she turned around.

"Kaoru-chan, we're here for you today. Don't you want to help mommy pick up some nice fabric for you."

The little girl frowned and looked down at the table.

"Why?" she asked.

"For pretty kimonos," her mother replied. "How else are you going to impress your husband?"

The little girl stuck out her tongue. "No husband."

"Well maybe not now," the woman said, laughing slightly before it turned into a cough. "But one day… look, feel this."

Kaoru reached out and placed a small hand on the white fabric. "Soft," she said.

"Hai," her mother said. "For your wedding kimono. I'll sew it for you. Won't that be nice?" But little Kaoru only stuck out her tongue again.

"Okay, okay," her mother laughed. "Then… what about this?"

She picked up a ream of silk and showed her daughter the deep blue material. "Then we can add some swans or cranes or…"

"Bunnies!" Kaoru interrupted.

Her mother smiled. "Or bunnies. Or whatever you want. Because my little Kaoru-chan gets whatever she wants."

"I want a bokken like daddy!"

Her mother paused. "I don't think…"

"Daddy doesn't like me, does he?" Kaoru asked, looking down at her dangling toes. "He wanted a boy."

"No, no that's not it at all!" Her mother said firmly. "When you were born, I thought he would be upset but… he was very happy."

"But he always yells!"

Her mother looked at her sadly. "Hai… but that's just… his way." She paused. "Look at the one, Kaoru-chan."

She picked up the red-orange fabric and held it front of her daughter's eyes. And suddenly any unhappiness fled from the little girl's face as it lit up with pure joy.

***

My hands held the red-orange fabric and I couldn't help but smile. Red-orange… even back then, it was like I knew what I would love. And underneath it the beautiful white silk that my mother had never gotten to sew.

They were forgotten dreams now, part of the wishes and desires I put away when I joined my father and took up the sword. But I had always kept them because… because maybe I wasn't willing to let go. 

But now I had no choice. There were no other options. And I had known from the beginning that it would come to this. 

So I gathered up the multiple reams of silk and placed it in the bag next to me. This would be more than enough. My mother had bought when the dojo was prosperous and the amount of money I could get for them would be more than enough to buy new armor, maybe even fix the roof.

This was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do.

No more childhood dreams, no more wishes for a life I would never have. Yahiko was right, the school wasn't just mine. I was going to save it for him, for Yutaro and for everyone who studied here.

And for those who lived here.

***

__

It had taken the combined strength and intelligence of the Oniwabanshu to convince him to wait out the storm. Actually, it had taken most of the Oniwabanshu distracting him while Okina used a ninja stealth move to knock him out.

Kenshin could have been angry, he could have really lost his temper. But when he woke up, the sun as shining in the sky and Misao was handed him a ticket for the train to Tokyo. 

"You'll get there faster then if you left when you wanted to anyway," she had stated clearly. And it was hard for Kenshin to stay mad in the face of her overwhelming perkiness.

"Tell Kaoru we'll be there in a few days!" she had called as the train pulled out of the station. "We'll be her cheering section!! And write and tell us how it goes with…"

But the last bit was lost in the train whistle. He just waved, knowing what she meant, and slunk into his seat. He knew what she meant but…

The train ride was agonizing. The only thing on his mind was the fact that he might be too late… for real this time. He might just have lost her. And even if it was something not within his control, if he had been there…

The train came to a stop. After a few moments of confusion, a conductor came out and explained that debris was blocking the tracks. Some of the engineers were going to try to…

The conductor trailed off as soon as Kenshin stood up, pushed by him and out the car.

"Sir… please, just stay…" he called trying to run after the redhead. 

The engineers working on the track looked up with surprise at the man approaching them. A few pulled away, taking the pick-axes with them. Kenshin took one look at the tree barring his way to Tokyo and drew his sword.

There was a flash of light. The assembled group blinked in surprise. The tree was gone. Not moved, not cut down… just gone.

"Will that help the delay?" Kenshin asked.

The conductor just nodded and let the man board the train again. The engineers took the pick axes and got on the train as well, not saying nary a word. 

For someone reason, Kenshin thought the landscape was moving faster after the incident. But it still didn't mean that it made the trip any easier. When Tokyo finally loomed on the horizon, Kenshin had to fight the urge to just jump off the train and run the rest of the way.

He settled instead for running down the streets to get to the dojo. If they weren't there, he'd go straight to Fuji itself to look. 

Kenshin saw the damage to the area as he ran and it only heightened his concern. Rounding the corner, he could make out the Kamiya compound. Even from here he could see the hole in the roof.

He threw open the door and looked inside. The dojo was completely silent. They weren't here he realized. He needed to…

"Oi!"

Kenshin turned and looked at the balcony. The boy there balked. "Kenshin?"

"Yahiko," he said, relief flooding back into his voice. 

"What happened to your hair?"

"Where's Kaoru-dono?"

The questions came out at the same time but for some reason, Yahiko got the distinct impression that Kenshin's was much more important.

"She went to the market…" he trailed off. Not that it mattered if he finished the sentence anyway. By then Kenshin was already half way to the market.

***

"This is incredible! It's pre-Meiji era silk!"

I blinked. That made it more impressive? Wait… wait, this is where I need to look very knowledgeable about it or I won't get as much money.

"Of course," I said. "This is very high quality silk. I've already had several interested buyers but since you are such a long time friend of my family…"

I should have felt bad, lying to him like this, but I knew the silk was good. And it was just a little white lie.

He named off prices and I almost fainted. Apparently, the dojo had been VERY prosperous when my mother bought this fabric. I tried to hide my surprise and started to hand over the silk but I suddenly found myself holding the red-orange ream and not being able to move.

"That's a very unique color," the dealer said, watching my movements.

I paused and looked at him. "I can't sell it," I said suddenly. NO! You have to sell it, my mind screamed.

"I'll give you twice the price," he said.

Sell it! "I'm sorry," I said softly, "but it's not for sale."

What are you doing? My subconscious yelled. It's just cloth, it's just a…

No, I thought sadly, holding the fabric to my chest. It's not just cloth. Not to me. I can't give it away. I don't think I ever will be able to give it away.

The dealer looked at me and sighed. "All right. But if you ever want to, bring it to me and I'll offer you the best price."

I nodded and took the rather large sack of money from him. He ushered me out the door and promptly closed the shop, saying he needed to bring these to some of high upper class clients right away.

I turned and touched the door, thinking of the fabric he was taking away from me, of the dreams he was taking away from me. Most of the anyway. Maybe I was weak willed. But I didn't care at this point. Even if it was one-sided forever, I wasn't going to let it go.

I still had the ream in my arms but I had more than enough money to buy everything we would need and fix the roof and… well, it wasn't going to be much more than that. It was still quite a nice sum. 

I turned to buy to head to the weapon shop but the wind suddenly picked up and pulled at the fabric in my hand. It fluttered up and covered my head for a moment, turning the world to a fuzzy shade of red. 

I tried to push it down but it was being decidedly uncooperative. And then suddenly, it was being tucked away, not by my hands but by someone else's. 

"Arigato," I started, trying to clear my mind of color before I suddenly realized it was not the fabric that was making the world red anymore.

"Kenshin?" I said, somewhat surprised to find him standing there.

"Kaoru-dono," he said, with relief in his voice.

I blinked again. "Your hair?"

"Ah… I… I thought…"

"It's nice," I said with a smile. 

"Arigato," he said with a soft smile. 

"Did you have a good time on your trip?" I asked, somewhat meekly.

"Hai," he replied. "But I heard about the storm and…"

"Isn't that her?"

Kenshin and I both turned and realized there was a small crowd of people looking at us. But most of the all, they were pointing at me.

***

**__**

"There she goes again."

"Who does she think she is, carrying a wooden sword like that?"

"What a waste, she'll never get married."

"Does she even like men?"

"How can you walk around wearing something like that?"

A thirteen-year-old Kaoru walked in the dojo and towards the kitchen, depositing the foodstuff there. With a sigh, she walked towards the dojo, carefully moving around the things to get ready for the next class.

"Did your trip to the market go well?" 

Kaoru turned and saw her father standing at the doorway. "The same as always."

He paused. "But you are not upset."

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Otosan," Kaoru said looking at him. "And I am strong enough not to let it hurt me anymore."

She turned away and concentrated on preparing for the class she would be teaching. Her father frowned but he slowly walked away.

"Yes," he said softly to himself. "You are strong."

***

I frowned. It was one thing to take the jabs of the townsfolk while I was alone but I really didn't want to involve Kenshin in it all. I'd just have to end it quickly, scare them away.

"What are you all looking at?" I said, feeling the anger rising.

"It is her!"

"Just like the picture."

"Picture?" I said, backing down. One of the people held up the morning's newspaper and I almost fell over with shock.

There was a picture of me. And one of Yahiko. And a long article. I grabbed the paper and started to read, working through the words that told the story of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. How my father had started, how I had taken it up afterwards. The problems with Hiruma and how the school had lost face because of it. And how we were participating in the tournament to restore its honor.

"I don't understand," I said looking at Kenshin. "Who would…"

But I trailed off, following his finger and seeing the author of the article. Tsunan… it was Sano's friend. I wish I could have thought more about it, why he would help me out like this and give such great publicity for the school. But I was suddenly deluged.

"Are you accepting more students?"

"It must be such a honor to fight in the tournament."

"Can you teach me about Kamiya Kasshin Ryu?"

***

My bare feet padded on the wooden balcony and I let out a little sigh. The excitement at the market had exhausted me but I couldn't sleep just yet. Yahiko had only just left to check Sano apartment for damage and I needed a few moments of peace.

I smiled remembering the way he had blushed when I showed him the article. I kidded him about it, which of course sparked the usual retort from him.

"It's not like it's on the front page or anything," he said. "I guess they thought your picture would scare people away from buying it."

I give up. We can have a trip like the one to Fuji, a bonding sessions like the one we had after we got home and still… still Yahiko would insult me. And I was beginning to realize that I never wanted it any other way.

But the article had made me realize something else. The tournament was only a few days away! We had armor again but it was still a bit stiff and it might take some getting used to. And Yahiko needed to get over his head wound.

I walked around to the front steps and took a seat on the right side, leaning against the railing. All the people today… if one article had caused that much interest, imagine what winning the tournament would do! 

I smiled slightly at the thought of the dojo filled with students again. It had been empty for too long. Well, not completely empty, I thought, looking over to the candlelight kitchen.

He wasn't going to tell me where he went, I realized. We hadn't spoken that much since getting back from the market but I really didn't know what to say. It had become rather obvious that I was no ready to let go of him, even though I knew that it couldn't work… at least I thought it couldn't work.

I could read it on his face, that something was weighing on his mind. And his hair… didn't people say that people cut off their hair when they were ready to make a change. But what change could he possible make?

My heart froze. Was he getting ready to leave? Was that what this was about?

The candle in the kitchen flickered and dimmed. A second later, I heard the soft footsteps walking down the balcony. I looked up and saw him, slowly round his way to the other side of the stairs. He sat down and silence fell over us.

"Thanks for dinner," I said somewhat lamely, no longer able to take the quiet. "You didn't have to do that, especially since you just got back from your trip."

"I don't mind," he replied, staring out into the yard.

I let the conversation lapse into silence again. I couldn't really think of anything to say. I was still stuck on the idea of that this might be the one conversation I had always dreaded.

"Mou Kenshin?" I said softly.

"Hai, Kaoru-dono?"

I paused. "Why did you cut your hair?"

There was a few seconds of silence again but for me, it stretched out for years. "I realized that I have had it for such a long time but that it was weighing me down lately."

I blinked. We were talking about hair right? My heart was pitter-pattering away, like it was ready to just dance right out of my chest.

"There were a lot of people interested in the school today," he said.

I tried to calm my heart but it wasn't working at all. "Yes," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. "Hopefully… we'll have lots of students soon."

"It might cause you problems then, to have a rurouni staying here, people might say things."

I wanted to tell him those people could go to hell. That I would never care what people said. That he could stay as long as he wanted.

But I looked over him and caught the look in his eyes and finally understood. This wasn't about him leaving at all. I turned back to face the ground, my hands lightly clutching the hakama pants.

"It might," I said softly.

He nodded slightly. "I thought… I thought maybe we should do something about that."

Tae-san would have been so upset. There were no cherry blossoms or butterfly swirling in the sky. No heavenly choirs. No elegantly written love poems. Not even a ring.

But then… it was so Kenshin, ne?

"I think…" I started, feeling my eyes well up. I stopped and laughed a bit. Why did I always cry when things made me happy?

"I think," I tried again, "that would be a very good idea."

There was movement to my left and I saw his hand outstretched towards me. Very carefully, I put mine in his and felt myself pulled towards him. I stood up, taking the few steps I needed and then followed the pull of his arm until I found myself nestled better his legs and his chest.

I looked up into those violet eyes and smiled. He wiped away a couple of tears but I think it just made it worse. So I just took his hand in mine and let it rest one my cheek. It made him smile for a moment. But I felt his fingers uncurl and the warmth spreading through my cheek and his expression changed. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, feeling his hand slowly tilt my head upwards.

I was never going to be like Tomoe but it didn't matter. Megumi had told me once that I couldn't be her replacement but I didn't want to understand that then. She was right, I couldn't be a replacement. I could only be me. And that was going to be enough.

Yes, Tae-san, there were none of this things you told me there should be. But… there were fireworks.


	5. Chapter 5 : The Tournament

****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last Chance at Glory  
Chapter 5 : The Tournament

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The days before the tournament should have been pure bliss. I should have woken up every morning to breakfast cooked by a man I could now safely say was mine. I should have been able to practice with a well-disciplined student that I had bonded with on my trip to Fuji in relative quiet. And the nights should have been filled with the pure joy of enjoying the fact that I finally got the guy.

But come on folks. Let's all remember who the guy is. It's Kenshin and should I have really been surprised when half of Kyoto showed up on our doorstop the next morning?

"Ohayo!" 

The shrill cry pierced the quiet of the courtyard where Yahiko and I had been practicing. I looked over at the quickly retreating shock of red hair and realized that it was exactly who I thought it was. I tried to open the door in such a way that the inevitable wouldn't happen but Misao was always too fast for me. I found myself on the ground in seconds.

"Ohayo, Kaoru!" she said, chipper as ever.

"Misao," I said with a smile. "You're in Tokyo… with Aoshi… and Okina… and…"

I stood up, deposited Misao on the ground and looked at the growing number of people filing into the dojo. I waited for a second before turning around to where Kenshin should have been.

He was already half way to the house and I could feel my eyebrow starting to twitch. When exactly was he planning to tell me that he invited the entire Oniwabanshu crew here? 

"All right! Now, where's the sake?"

I paled. That voice was a bit too familiar, a bit… 

"Oi, baka deshi… didn't I teach you any manners? Go get me something to drink."

I smiled. Apparently, I was going to have to get even with Kenshin at all. I'd just leave that to Hiko. The day was looking up I thought as I smiled at the tall man behind me. 

"What is this, a circus?"

My mood fell a few notches with that. I could feel the coldness in the air before I turned to face our latest guest.

Megumi Tanaki. My greatest rival for Kenshin. Though by her account, the fight was over after Kyoto, she seemed to like pressing my buttons in the months that followed. Well, this time, I was going to show her that she was completely out of the…

"Ken-san!" she said, sauntering over to him. And there was Kenshin stuck between his shishou and Megumi and not really able to do much except smile innocently.

"Now wait a second!" I cried, looking over at Megumi.

"Hmmm?" she said, turning to face me. "What is it?"

"You… you…" I tried, finding words were escaping me at the moment. "You can't do that!" I finally settled. Great, that sounded just great… for a five-year-old.

"Why not?" she asked, little fox ears already poking from under her hair.

Come on, Kaoru. Just say it. It's not like there's anything to hide or to be ashamed of or… why is suddenly so damn quiet! Kenshin shot me a look but I shook my head. No, I was going to do this one myself.

"Because…" I said, walking over to Megumi and slowly taking Kenshin's hand. "Because… we're getting married."

Megumi blinked and sighed. "Finally," she said. And then she did something even more surprising. She hugged me. And the silence broke then, filling the Kamiya dojo with a sound that had been gone from it for so many years. Pure joy.

***

__

Kenshin smiled as Tae and Tsubame walked in the door, holding several trays of food. 

"My, my, we are busy," Tae said looking around.

And Kenshin could only nod. Busy was the only way to explain what was going on. After things had died down from the initial celebration, the Oniwabanshu had taken one look at the state of the dojo and decided that while they were here, they might as well help fix it up.

Kaoru had money, a lot of it, and she kept giving it out for them to get supplies. It made Kenshin wonder exactly what she had done to get it but for whatever reason, she wouldn't tell him. Yahiko would have to be the one to tell him.

Only Yahiko and Kaoru were diligently working outside while the repairs were going on, trying to break in their new armor. Hiko watched from a distance, occasionally shouting out… eh, suggestions. And much to Kenshin's surprise, Kaoru had not chased after him with a shinai yet.

The two girls from the Akabeko were setting things up and Kenshin decided to let the rest of the crew know that dinner was ready. He walked out of the dining room and rounded the corner to the main dojo when he suddenly started to notice the changes.

The hole in the roof was repaired and completely impossible to discern among the rest of the tiles. Rotting wood in the railing had been sanded down or replaced. The creaking on the steps had stopped. The koi pond had been restocked and the garden around it rearranged.

The Oniwabanshu hadn't just fixed the storm damage. They had restored the Kamiya dojo to a state that Kenshin never knew. This must have been what it was like before Kaoru had lost her father.

He called out, getting their attention and waving over to dinner. There was a collective sigh of relief as they ran down to get food. Even Yahiko and Kaoru seemed happy for the break.

As they began to remove their armor, Hiko made his way over and despite his initial inclination to run away, Kenshin stayed put. It's not like he could ever really escape his master's constant nagging.

"Nice job they are doing," Hiko said.

Kenshin nodded slowly, not trusting where this was going. A sentence from Hiko without baka deshi attached to it? This was going to be bad.

"Hai, shishou," he replied cautiously.

Hiko paused. "She sold all her good silk," he said. "At least that's what the boy said." Kenshin blinked and looked up at Hiko. "All of it, including anything she could have used for a wedding kimono."

Kenshin frowned. It was just like Kaoru to do that. She should have spoken to him and they would have been able to find some other way to get the money.

"And since you will never be able to get that much money," Hiko continued, as if reading his thoughts, "I suggest you leave this matter to me."

"Shishou?" Kenshin blinked. "But…"

"Without a dress, there'll be no wedding. Without a wedding, they'll be no children and without those I'm still short an heir. Remember our agreement."

"What agreement?"

Kenshin froze, feeling a familiar hand on his. He looked back at Kaoru with an innocent smile while he wove his free hand at Hiko.

"Kenshin has agreed to give his first born to me," Hiko said matter-of-factly," so I can train an heir."

Kenshin cringed, already feeling the pressure on his hand and had a very bad feeling of what was about to happen next.

Hiko could only smile and walk away. "Baka deshi."

***

**__**

The rain fell softly across the dojo as Kaoru watched her father's methodical movements. Her face was impassive as he stood up to face her.

"I will return in a few months," he said firmly. "I trust you take care of the dojo while I am gone."

"Of course," she said firmly, shifting the bokken in her head.

"Continue to give classes. I don't want to find anyone's skills have diminished while I was gone."

"They'll be better than they are now."

"I have spoken with Gensai-sensei and he will check in every so often. Tell him if you need any help."

"I'll be able to handle anything on my own."

Her father paused, fitting the last bit of his armor before retrieving the traveling bag. He turned to her and eyed her for a moment before turning to leave. 

Kaoru watched him pass by her and down the stairs towards the gate. The armor made only the slightly sound, barely audible against the storm outside. The thunder boomed. The trees shook in the wind. There was one flash of lightning and she saw him for that brief instant, one last time before he disappeared into the dark.

***

The drums were so loud I heard them before we even entered the arena. I turned to face Yahiko, looking for any signs of nervousness. But he looked up at me with strength in his eyes. That's right, we were strong. We were ready.

I gripped the helmet closely by my side, looking around at the other teams. Only half of us were on this side, standing just outside the main room until the tournament began. We were Nakamura's choices, four teams from schools that were learning how to use the sword without bloodshed.

I wanted to smile at the others but I knew that even if we were following the same philosophy, today our paths were ours alone, leading either they led to victory or defeat. There was no common ground.

There was a loud bang outside and a man was calling out an introduction. I couldn't make out the words but from the way the others were shifting, I knew that it was almost time.

I closed my eyes and let the calm slowly grip my heart. One month of training and it was finally time. There was no question in my mind. I was going to win.

The line ahead of me started to move and I nodded to Yahiko one last time before we went out, me in the front, him a few steps behind, holding a tiny banner with our school's name.

The moment I stepped outside, it took all of my resolve to keep moving. The amount of people here was much more than I had ever expected. Benches lined the small square in the center that was to serve as the fighting arena. The roar that came from them was completely bewildering and resonated through the hall like thunder, overpowering even the constant beating of the drums. Hundreds of people were here. And I didn't recognize a single one of them.

But then I heard it. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know how anyone in the entire place wasn't going to hear it. I looked down at Yahiko and he just shook his head in amusement. 

I stole a glance over my shoulder and a quick wave at the assembled group from Kyoto, Aizu and the Akabeko who started cheering loudly. A couple of the guys in line looked at me and I smiled. Sure, you guys have the rest of your school in the crowd, chanting away mottoes and school slogans but I had something better. 

"KICK ASS KAORU!!"

Yeah, that was my cheering squad (Misao with that little ditty), my eyes glittered as I looked at them. 

There was a large board at either side of the arena, a smaller one near the judges. As soon as the eight teams had made it to the center, Nakamura and Watanabe made their way to join us. The stress between those two was obvious and I thought they would have gone for each other's throats if the foreigner hadn't suddenly appeared.

He looked at us and executed a clumsy bow before turning to the two politicians. He started to speak, but the language was English and I didn't understand a word of it. Instead, I was more interested in the fact that there were a large number of foreigners in the arena as well. I could see well dressed Japanese men and women, obviously from the upper classes and way in the back the rabble were there, chatting among themselves.

"This is the first annual Tokyo Kendo Tournament," Nakamura suddenly said, translating what Blackstone had just said. "The rules are simple. The referee will signal the beginning of the match. The first to strike two hit wins. All strikes must be called beforehand or they will not count. You will have one chance to use your second so it is suggested you save that until you have no other choice.

"We will pick names from this box," Watanabe said, motioning to a large wooden box in front of him, "to determine the order of the first fights. From there, the winner advances, the loser is eliminated."

The arena fell deadly quiet as Blackstone reached in and pulled out a wooden tile. Watanabe took it.

"Shiinto Kurochiku Ryu."

There was chanting from their cheering section as the tile with their name was placed on the lowest left hook on all three boards in the arena.

"Kokufuu Ryu."

There were a few murmurs among the assembled fighters. Two of the militant schools were going to fight each other in the first bout. And from the looks they were casting each other, there was no love lost.

"Tanaka Byakuren Ryu… Takayama Hitsuji Ryu."

My stomach barely made it through the two names. I kept waiting to hear our name called but it was another set of two from Nakamura's schools. I looked over at Yahiko and he shot me a firm look. But I could see his hand and I knew he was just as nervous.

"Suzuki Kawa Ryu. Ishikiri Ryu. That leaves "Aka Dokuja Ryu and Kamiya Kasshin Ryu as the remaining two teams."

I let out a bit of breath and tried not to cringe. Wonderful, we were fighting against the team called Bloody Poisonous Snake. This was comforting.

I wish I could relate the brute strength that Shiinto Kurochiku Ryu fighter used to decimate his rival. Or the grace and style Takayama Hitsuji employed to defeat their opponent. But I was a bit too nervous to do anything but stare.

What was I doing here? Was I going to make a complete fool out of myself? Is this how Kenshin felt before his duels? Probably not. He had enough experience to know how to deal with flutters of nervousness. I shot a nervous look up at the stands and found my group again.

He was there, half watching the fight himself. If I wasn't so far away that things were fuzzy, I would have sworn that he looked worried. I saw him shift and look my way, his face suddenly lit up in a smile. I blushed slightly and raised my hand in a small wave. See, things were going to be just…

There was a scream of pain and the fighter from Suzuki Kawa Ryu went down. The referee jumped in, asking the man if he was all right and after a few seconds of heavy breathing he stood up. The Ishikiri Ryu man just stood there smugly, holding the shinai lightly in his hand.

Yahiko and I looked at each other with surprise and a look of agreement. We really wanted the guy from Suzuki Kawa to win. I didn't want to have to face the Ishikiri guy at all.

And somehow, despite the near devastating hit, the man from Suzuki Kawa did win. I wanted to celebrate but I suddenly realized that the end of his fight meant the beginning of mine. 

Yahiko handed me the helmet and I put in on, taking a deep breath so that I didn't have an attack of claustrophobia. I wasn't ready. I really wasn't ready. But my feet were moving, my subconscious over powering me and dragging into the ring.

***

**__**

Kaoru looked at the two men standing at her door. Gensai-sensei shot her a look before taking the baby and the little girl away. The men shifted listlessly, as if waiting here was torturous for them.

And well it should be, Kaoru thought, holding her head high. These were messengers that no one wanted to see. These soldiers didn't fight but brought back word from the front to the people at home who were waiting and praying and just about to find out it was all for naught.

"He fell defending his commander," one of them said, as if it made the news any different. He held out the letter and she took it from him, slowly pulling off the official seal.

She would not cry. She would not dishonor his memory by crying over this. She had to be strong. She had to…

Her knees slumped to the ground as the letter rolled off the page and into her mind. The dirt ground itself into her knees. The letter crumpled in her hand. She bit her lip hard to prevent the sobs from escaping, tearing the skin there so she could taste the blood in her mouth.

The men left as Gensai walked out and motioned at them. He could take from here, he said wordlessly, kneeling down to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"He said he would come back," Kaoru said, pushing the sobs away and holding her face firm. "He said it would only be a few…"

Gensai never said a word, knowing that there was nothing to be said. No matter how much they fought, Kaoru had been trying so hard to get into his heart. And now he was gone.

"What am I going to do?" she asked, looking at him. "What am I suppose to do without him?"

"You will survive, Kaoru," Gensai said. 

"How? Without him, how I am going to run the school? How am I…"

"Kaoru," Gensai said firmly. 

"He said he told you to help me. You have to help me…"

Gensai paused for a moment and then shook his head. "Kaoru, your father never asked me to help you."

Kaoru looked at him. "But… but he said that…"

"He didn't need to ask me. Because he knew you were strong enough to deal with anything that happened while he was away. He knew, as I knew, that you were stronger than anything that might happen, even this."

***

"MEN!" I called lunging forward and landing the strike on top of the fighter's helmet. I froze there for a moment, the armor raising and falling against my chest. The referee came over and looked at the judges.

With a nod, he grabbed my wrist and held it up.

"Victory to Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. They advance to the next round."

I heard them screaming behind me but I bowed to my opponent first. He smiled at me and gave a short nod as he turned away. I returned the expression. It was a good fight. Short, quick but very tense. We had tied in the first two minutes, each scoring a strike against the other but I had managed to pull that final strike at the last second.

I turned around and headed back to Yahiko, finally waving at my little cheering squad and earning a few more squeals of delight. Yahiko looked up at me with a smile.

"Good move," he said.

"Thanks," I managed before collapsing on the ground to catch my breath. "The next one will be…"

I trailed off, seeing the man walking towards me. Yahiko tensed but I stood up and met him halfway.

"Suzuki, from Suzuki Kawa Ryu," he said, bowing slightly.

"Kamiya, from Kamiya Kasshin Ryu," I replied with a bow.

"Kamiya-san," Suzuki said softly. "I will be blunt. I need more time to recover from my first match."

"I saw the blow," I replied. "But the rules state that there can be no delay between matches."

"I know that."

"What about your second?" I asked.

Suzuki paused, looking back at his bench. There a small boy there, not more than Yahiko's age. "I can not put him up against you." 

I saw the resemblance. Suzuki had brought his son. His situation was the same as mine. Our schools were family based and didn't have that many students.

"All my other students were children," he said. "Our school was just starting out. I will forfeit my match to you. I just wanted to tell you the reason why so that…"

I held up my hand. "Put your second in."

His brow furrowed. "But he can't…"

"Just trust me," I said. "Put him in."

Suzuki paused and looked at me and then back at the bench. He nodded firmly and went back to his seat. I went back to Yahiko and sat in silence through the brief intermission between rounds. 

The fighter from Shiinto Kurochiku Ryu never broke a sweat. He was stronger than anyone here, that was obvious. And despite having great speed, Takayama Hitsuji Ryu was not enough to beat him.

They called my match next and I stood up. I looked back at Yahiko and shot him a look that said get ready. He looked at me in confusion but I turned away before he could ask any questions.

Suzuki and I walked to the center of the mat and bowed at each other. The referee was walking towards us. Suzuki's eyes locked on mine through the grates of the helmet, trying to decide.

"Are you ready, Suzuki-san?" the referee asked.

Suzuki paused, struggling with the decision but finally… "I call for my second."

The referee nodded and held up a hand. Suzuki's son came out on to mat and there was a murmur in the crowd. He barely came up to my waist, the shinai in his hand shook slightly.

"Don't worry," I said softly to him with a smile. 

"Are you ready, Kamiya-san?" the referee turned to me.

"I call for my second," I said.

The referee paused, looking at me with confusion but I held my ground. He held up a hand and the crowd exploded. Yahiko looked up at me as we passed and I rested a hand on his shoulder before taking a seat.

***

__

"Is she crazy? That round was a lock!" Misao said.

"That is probably why she chose to let Yahiko fight," Aoshi said.

"That doesn't make any sense!" Misao cried.

"It does," Kenshin said. "If Kaoru-dono advanced without a fight, people would always be left to wonder if she could have defeated Suzuki. This way… the question is answered fairly."

"Winning is not everything," Aoshi added. "She will not take the easy way out." 

And Misao nodded, admiration playing across her face. "I just hope Yahiko can hold up."

***

**__**

"I can't do it," Kaoru said, her head hung low over the steaming broth.

"Kaoru," Gensai said softly, "we've been…"

"The bills are too high. I can't bring in students when the roof is about to cave in. Where am I going to get money?"

"You will teach outside the school, make extra money as a private instructor," Gensai said.

"It won't be enough," she said softly.

"It will. Come… it's been only a day since news of your father arrived. Matters like this should not be on your mind now, with the grief still fresh."

"He should have told me," she said softly, her breath mingling in with the steam from the soup.

"Told you what?" 

"That he thought I could do this. Why didn't he just TELL me!"

"It wasn't his way," Gensai replied.

Kaoru blinked, remembering how her mother had said something similar. It was just his way. "I just wanted to hear him say it. Why didn't he ever tell me he thought I could handle this?"

***

Suzuki's son hit first and I could see the shock register on Yahiko's face. He had fought in some many battles, fought to protect his friends. But this was different. It wasn't life or death fight, it wasn't a free-for-all. It wasn't an act of desperation. He was fighting within a boundary of rules, with no threat of death.

It was the same reason I felt nervous at first. And I could see the confusion on Yahiko's face, the bit of fear that he might lose. This wasn't like most of our fights. We didn't have that animalistic instinct of survival or the intense desire to protect someone else from death to give us the extra push. This was a fight where we needed to find the strength from within ourselves.

I held up a hand to the referee and he nodded, walking away from the two combatants and telling them to wait. I walked over with the new shinai. It was just a pretense but I needed to get out there fast.

"Yahiko," I said quickly when I reached him.

"He hit me… I don't know how he…"

"Yahiko listen to me," I said. "It doesn't matter. You just have to make the next two strikes and you'll still win."

"But I…"

"No," I said firmly. "Yahiko, I know you can do this. I know because I've seen you fight before. This is different from those fights. There are more rules but you can do this. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't think you could hold up."

I handed him the sword and grabbed his hand as it wrapped around the hilt. "I am proud of you. Whatever happens, I want you to know that. I have always been proud of you. You are stronger than anyone I ever taught."

"Kaoru…" he started softly.

"And if I could have asked for a little brother," I said, "I would have wanted him to be exactly like you." I paused, looking at him in the eye and trying not myself cry. "Now go and win this," I said a smile, knowing my eyes were glistening.

The cry from our cheering section rose to near fever pitch and Yahiko pulled the shinai away from me and nodded firmly. I stood up and walked back, taking a seat and lacing my fingers in my lap to prevent myself from gnawing off the nails.

The first hit came thirty seconds after the match began again. The second, fifteen seconds after that.

"Victory to Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. They advance to the next round."

The crowd was on their feet and I could see the pride on Yahiko's face as the referee swung him around holding up the hand. He looked over at the other boy and bowed deeply. 

I looked across the way at Suzuki and he nodded in thanks. He may have lost the match but no honor had been lost in doing so. I nodded back, hoping that we might meet again outside the tournament.

"We will take a longer break now to allow the two finalists to rest and prepare for the next round. Please remain in your seats."

***

__

Misao bounded down the stairs, followed by most of the group, Hiko having decided to stay in their area to prevent the seat from being taken. Though the pretty group of women and the bottle of sake at his feet made his reasons seem otherwise. Kenshin sighed following after Misao and knowing there was no stopping her. In many ways, he was glad that Misao had suggested it. 

Yahiko was a collapsed pile next to Kaoru, trying to catch his breath. She patted his head and watched us come down with a smile. 

"Yahiko, you were great! I didn't think you had it in you!" Misao said.

"Thanks… Weasel…" Yahiko wheezed.

"What did…" Misao started but was promptly hushed by Omasu.

"Yahiko-chan, are you all right?" Tsubame asked, pushing herself out to the front so she could look down at him.

The poor boy caught one look at her face and shot up. "Yeah, I'm… eh… dizzy…"

Kaoru pulled him back down. "Just sit there and relax for a second." She watched as Kenshin sat next to her and threaded her fingers quickly through his hand. "So how are you holding up?" she asked them.

"Misao's not going to have a voice by the morning," Okina said with a smile.

"That's because I keep yelling at you to stop groping the women around us," she snapped. "Besides, you're the one we should be asking that too."

"I'm fine," Kaoru replied. "I'll be better when we win this though," she finished firmly. She looked up at Kenshin and he smiled. 

It was gone. There was no more doubt in her eyes. There was determination, strength and most of all, a warm look that was only for him. 

"Didn't you hear, stay in your seats!"

The group looked up at rather upset looking soldier. Probably sent to keep things in order by the Meiji government.

"I'm this woman's doctor," Megumi snapped. "And these are my helpers. We are helping Kamiya-san prepare for the next round." The solider paused but something about Megumi's look made him back down. Unfortunately someone else decided to continue the argument.

"A woman doctor for a woman Kenjutsu. How perfect." The group's attention turned to the source of the voice and found themselves looking at the members of the Shiinto Kurochiku Ryu. "Between the two of you, maybe you'll amount to half a man." 

"Still won't be enough to be at us though," another one said. That seemed to amuse the rest of them immensely and they descended into chanting.

"Kenshin," Kaoru said softly. He turned to face her and she held up her hand to show him he was cutting off the circulation with his grip. He loosened and she shook her head. "Don't get upset. This is my fight."

"No it's not," he replied. "You might be the one holding the shinai, but we're all behind you when you swing it." Kaoru blinked and looked at him and then the rest of the group, who were nodding in agreement.

"The match will resume in a few minutes, combatants get ready."

The group offered a few last congratulatory words before most of them headed up the stairs. Megumi lingered and as soon as the others were out of earshot, she leaned forward.

"Hurt him, Kaoru," she said, eyes dancing in anger over the man's statement. "Hurt him badly."

Kaoru laughed slightly and nodded. She turned to Kenshin with a warm smile. "It's almost over," she said.

He put a hand on her cheek. "It's only just beginning," he said.

"Oh, God!" Yahiko cried from his position on the floor. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Kaoru's eyebrow twitched. "You are a little brother," she said before casting one last look at Kenshin as she grabbed her helmet.

***

This was it. Two men down. One left. One extremely strong and egotistical man left. I could see him leering from beneath the helmet and Megumi's words echoed in my mind. We bowed slightly and took our positions waiting for the referee to signal the beginning of the match. 

He moved first, almost instantly after the referee's hand came down, I countered quickly, falling back slightly while he pounded away. It was true, his style had strength. But he relied on his strength too much.

Rather than counter the next strike, I shifted to the side and let his blow come crashing through empty space. The result was he was unbalanced and left wide open.

"KOTE!" I yelled, bringing down the shinai on his exposed hand.

The referee pulled us apart and I could see the surprise on his face. I almost smiled but decided it was better not to add fuel to the fire. I shifted my feet and took my position, gripping the shinai tightly. I felt it shifting slightly in my hand, the wood pieces grating against each other, but let it go, concentrating on my opponent instead.

He attacked, stronger than before and faster. There was no dodging these blows. I was forced to counter each of them. The shock of them tore down my arms but I stood firm, watching him attack.

"DO!" he called bring the shinai around to my left side. I countered, twisting my wrists around and bending low to the ground. The two shinai hit and I felt mine shifting again in my hand. 

My heart caught in my throat as I suddenly realized what was happening. The shinai was coming apart. I had to…

"DO!"

I twisted the sword over my head, feeling the bamboo sword come apart in my hands as I did. I could hear the crowd's reaction to seeing the shinai shatter as I moved. My hand reached the right side just as his blow came.

There was nothing to stop it. The shinai sailed below my hand, the hilt gripped in them not long enough to block it. I felt it hit my right side and the power shook through and came out the left.

My knees collapsed and I fell to the ground. There was a burning in my side, worse than I remembered in a long time. The referee was there, asking if I was all right. I knew that if I didn't get up, it was over. But it was like my entire side was on fire.

***

**__**

The funeral pyre ignited, sending spark into the sky. The unpleasant smell of burning flesh danced around her but Kaoru didn't move. Gensai sat next to her, watching the ritual proceed with silence. Several of the school's students were there as well, holding a respectful distance in the back.

The Buddhist monks performed the rites and Kaoru let the incense burn, staring as the smoke danced up into the air like gray snacks in black grass. The smells were making it hard to breathe but she never moved, her face an impassive mask.

"You can cry Kaoru," Gensai said, holding her hand. 

She shook her head. She hadn't cried since she was a little girl. Since she had started training for her father. It was a sign of weakness.

"I'm fine," she managed. 

And he let it go until after the ceremony was over. But once the last bit of food had been consumed and the mourners had left Kaoru behind with a small pile of money, he knew it was time.

"Kaoru…" he started. She looked at him with no emotions on her face. "I need to talk to you about your father."

She bit her lip and took in a deep breath from her nose. "I'm fine," she said firmly.

"No… no, it's not that. Kaoru, your father did not ask me to help you, that much is true. But he did come to see me before he left for the War." He saw her lip start to quiver.

"He told me that if something happened… that I should give you this."

Kaoru looked up, seeing the letter that had appeared in his hands. She closed her eyes and reached out, knowing her resolve was about to break. Taking it from him, she slowly opened the seal and read the letter in there.

****

~~~

Kaoru,

This letter will only reach you under the worst circumstances. When passing from this life, I will have but one regret. And it comes from what I see in your eyes. Strength is something I thought I had achieved but looking at you now, I know I was wrong. I see in your eyes the same empty look that I have in mine.

The strength you and I have is only half of what a person needs. Do not live your life as I have, alone and hollow. Find that second half of a man's strength Kaoru and become stronger than what you are now. 

~~~

__

The letter crinkled in her hands and Kaoru watched as the tears rolled down and hit the paper. A second later, she felt Gensai's arm on her shoulders and fell into him, finally letting the older man share some of her grief.

***

I gripped my side on the ground and looked at the referee. He was talking to me but I couldn't hear a word he was saying. I let my gaze turn towards the crowd, seeing the movement there but weaving past the sea of colors until I found them.

My cheering section. And they were on their feet. Yelling so that I could hear them above all the others. 

You were right, Otosan. The strength you taught me was only a half strength. I didn't understand right away. So it took me a while to find what the other half would be. But I finally found it. And I'm not going to let them down.

I put one foot firmly on the ground and pushed up, hearing the crowd's roar as I did. I straightened myself up, holding out my sword hand with it still gripping the hilt of the destroyed sword. Yahiko ran from the back and took it out of my hand. He handed me the new shinai, gripping my hand tightly for a moment before running back.

I brought the sword down to the ground and positioned my hands. I brought it up again leveling it at my opponent's neck. He looked at me for a moment before doing the same. The referee walked forward and held his arm up.

Every muscle in my body was electric, the fire in my side feeding them like water to a desert. My grip tightened and I let everything come to a stand still as I prepared for the start.

The referee's hand came down and I attacked first, taking him off-guard and forcing my opponent back.

"KOTE!" I cried, striking for the hand.

I am not my mother.

"DO!"

But I am not my father either.

"MEN!"

I am myself. I am Kamiya Kaoru. 

And I **am **strong.

"**TSUKI!!!**"

The scream came out louder than I had thought it would be. But all my strength, all my hope, everything had gone into that final strike.

My chest was heaving, my legs threatened to turn to jelly. My arms were stretched out in front of me, pushing the shinai to a point right between his head and shoulder protector. He didn't move. He knew what was about to happen. 

The crowd had fallen silent. The only sound was the referee's feet as he ran up and examined the blow. I felt his hand wrap against mine and then I felt the tears in my eyes as I dropped the sword and pulled off the helmet.

"VICTORY TO KAMIYA KASSHIN RYU! THEY WIN THE TOURNAMENT!"

The crowd exploded and I saw the rush of people coming forward. But they were all too late. My friends… my family was there first and I was lost under the crush of them. I should have said something about the pain in my side but it was all right. I was strong enough to endure it.

I was strong enough to endure anything.

I looked over at Kenshin and pulled him from the rest of the group, letting him almost crush me in his arms. He looked at me and I saw in his eyes all the happiness that we would have in the years to come.

I looked away for a moment and into the screaming crowd. Otosan. I did it. I finally did it. The honor of the school is restored. I found the strength you never did. And most of all… I'm not alone.

When all the fighting was done and all the opponents were defeated, when the tournament was won and all doubt was vanquished, I finally found the strength my father had wanted me to have as a child. But more importantly I found the peace and joy I had been looking all my life for.

**__**

~ The End ~

Author's note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed ^_^ This was a tough story to write! I appreciated all the comments and the corrections (which will be made soon now that the story is done).


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